respective factions were so much roused, that even the precautions
above described seemed hardly sufficient to prevent the threatened
conflict.

As a matter of curiosity, I could have no great objection to seeing
another such battle as the one I had witnessed near Corunna between
those long-established fighting-cocks, the French and English; but to
look on while honest Pat and Tim were breaking one another's heads
upon abstract political grounds, and English soldiery interposing with
grapeshot and fixed bayonets to make them friends again, was what I
had no mind for. I tried, therefore, to extricate myself forthwith
from this unhappy struggle; but my horse being tired, I was forced to
sleep in a village which, for aught I knew, might be sacked and burned
before morning; nothing occurred, however: nevertheless, I felt far
from easy till out of reach of the furious factions; the strangest
thing of all being that some quiet folks, a few miles distant, with
whom I took breakfast, seemed scarcely to mind it, although the
country round them was all on fire. From thence the course lay across
a wild range of mountains, one of them having on its top a sheet of
fresh water called Loch Salt. Nothing can be conceived more desolate
or dreary than this part of the country; and as there were few
inhabitants upon it at any time, and none at all at this moment, I had
no small difficulty in making good my way. On coming nearer to the
noble bay or lough, on the banks of which the country-seat of my
unknown friends was to be found, the aspect of things changed as if by
magic. A slight inequality in the ground concealed this "jewel in the
desert," as it was often called, till the whole of its rare beauties
could be seen to the greatest advantage. Even without the contrast of
wild moors, the singular beauties of the spot claimed the highest
admiration; but after such a preparative they appeared doubly grateful
to the senses, and I put spurs to my horse, anxious to come nearer to
such a delicious scene.

The mansion of my future friend, of which only partial glimpses could
be caught now and then, was well guarded on every side by fine old
trees, rising from the surface of carefully-dressed grounds, richly
stocked flower-gardens, long and wide avenues, and graceful terraces,
some of which reached to the very water's edge, along a delicate beach
on which the ripple scarcely broke. This charming domain occupied a
narrow spit of land, or promontory, jutting forwards into a landlocked
bay, or arm of the sea, in which the water appeared to lie always
asleep, and as smooth as if, instead of being a mere branch uniting
with the stormy Atlantic, it had been some artificial lake. Nothing,
indeed, which the most fertile imagination could suggest seemed to be
wanting.

There was one extremely well-conceived device at this delightful spot,
which I never remember to have seen anywhere else, though, there must
often occur in other places similar situations in which it might be
imitated. Not far from the house, but quite hid under a thickly-wooded
cliff, overhanging a quiet bight or cove, about ten or fifteen yards
across, lay a perfectly secluded pool, with a bottom of snow-white
sand. It was deep in the middle, but shelved gradually to its margin,
which rested on a narrow strip, or beach, of small round polished
pebbles. This fringe, encircling the cove, was surmounted by a dry
grassy bank, or natural terrace, reaching to the foot of the rock, the
face of which was not merely perpendicular, but projecting so much
that the top more than plumbed the edge of the basin. Along the
sky-line there was drawn a fence or veil of briars, honeysuckles, and
other impervious bushes, interspersed with myrtles, wild roses, and
foxgloves, so thickly woven together, that all external view of this
_beau ideal_ of a bath was rendered impossible. The only access was by
a narrow, steep, and winding path; and at the upper end was placed a
high, locked gate, the key of which was in the exclusive charge of the
ladies.

As I rode on, ignorant as yet of these and many other rich and rare
beauties of this singular spot, and only admiring the general aspect
of things, I began, for the first time, to reflect on the extreme
awkwardness of my situation.

Here was I merely the bearer of an introductory letter to a lady,
herself a guest in the house; and although it might have been
allowable enough to have called to deliver such an introduction, had
business or accident brought me to the neighbourhood, now it seemed
rather a strong measure to travel fifty or sixty miles across a wild
and disturbed country merely to pay a morning call. The inference that
my intention was to make a visit of some duration, became inevitable;
and I pictured to myself the string of explanations I had to give,
which might, after all, not be followed by any invitation to remain.
After long cogitations, I resolved to steal up to the house, if
possible, unperceived; have my horse turned over to the groom, and my
portmanteau stowed out of sight, and then to walk boldly up to the
door, with a visiting-card in one hand, and my credentials in the
other, to be delivered to the servant for the lady to whom the letter
was addressed. I next proposed to stroll about the woods, to give
time for any good things said of the bearer to work their way,
hoping, by this rather clumsy manoeuvre, that by the time I returned
to the house its inmates might be prepared to receive the stranger;
and then, if their invitation to remain should happen not to be very
pressing, I might pretend to be collecting specimens for my geological
friends, and so make my escape; though, to own the truth, nothing was
farther from my thoughts than geology.

In spite of these ingenious plans, I felt myself rather absurdly
situated, and half wished I had not engaged at all in such an
unpromising adventure. It seemed, however, too late to retreat, and
therefore I jogged on, as earnestly hoping not to be detected as ever
did any troops in advancing to the attack of a besieged fort.

What, then, was my speechless horror, on riding up the approach, to
discover a cavalcade of not fewer than a dozen ladies and gentlemen
bearing right down upon me from the house. Had it been a troop of
French cuirassiers charging across the ground, and threatening
annihilation to the unfortunate hack and his rider, I could not have
been much more astounded. The master of the house was probably of the
number; he would stop to inquire the business of the
suspicious-looking stranger invading his territories. The person for
whom I brought a letter, being an elderly lady, was not likely to be
on horseback amidst a party of young folks. There would be a general
halt ordered; while the poor new-comer, with his draggled horse and
swollen valise indicative of anything but a hasty departure, would
become the subject of a pleasant criticism to the quizzical dandies
and young ladies of the party. Even when this scrutiny was over, what
were they to do with their unexpected, self-elected companion? His
horse was now too tired, and much too ugly at any time to accompany
such gay palfreys as were prancing over the lawn; yet they could not,
in common civility, leave a stranger adrift; nor could they accompany
him back to the house, without breaking up their expedition for the
day.

All this flashed through my mind in a moment, and left me in a dire
dilemma. I pulled up my jaded nag, however, with such a jerk, that I
well-nigh threw him on his haunches. Fortunately, a little unevenness
in the ground hid me from the view of the advancing cavalry; and at
the same critical instant I discovered an opening in the fence on one
side. Without considering or caring whither it might lead, I turned my
charger round, urged him forwards with whip and spur, and dashed into
the gap as if I had been flying from the arm of justice, instead of
making my escape from as companionable a set of people as ever
breathed. Had any of the party detected the bashful fugitive, and
given chase, he must have been caught; for the path into which I had
fled terminated in a road leading to some farm offices, but with no
opening beyond.

The awkwardness of my situation, which was already considerable,
became greatly augmented by this ridiculous proceeding; and I heard
the riders pass within twenty yards of my hiding-place, with the most
unspeakable alarm lest any one of them should catch a glimpse of me
nestling behind a cart of hay. I breathed freer when the last
servant's horse crossed the ridge; and then, creeping from my hole,
soon gained the stables adjoining the house, gave up my horse,
secured the well-stuffed valise out of sight, and repaired, according
to the original precious scheme, to the front door with my letter. I
stood for five minutes with the knob of the bell in my hand,
irresolute whether to go on with the adventure, or fairly to cut and
run from it. At length, when the fatal pull was given, I listened to
the sound, and felt myself what statesmen call "fully committed."
There was now nothing left but to screw up my courage, as I best
might, to meet the dangers and difficulties of the crisis.

There happened to be no one at home except the old lady, to whom my
introduction was addressed, so that the plan succeeded very well; I
forget now the details of the introduction, but I can never cease to
remember the unbounded cordiality of the reception, not only from this
excellent person, but from the master and mistress of the house, and
all their assembled friends, showing how totally I had miscalculated
the nature and extent of Irish hospitality. There were several elderly
persons, then in the autumn of life, and several were very young
folks, scarcely able to walk, who now count many "daughters and sons
of beauty." There was a pretty equal admixture of Irish and English,
amongst them several persons of rank; also one or two foreigners;
besides much native wit, worth, and beauty, of the highest order, and
all most delightfully set off by the graces and nameless enchantments
of refined manners, and tasteful as well as useful accomplishments. I
have rarely, if ever, seen in any part of the world so fascinating an
assemblage of all that would render a country party agreeable as was
here collected in one of the most out-of-the-way corners of Ireland.
My worthy captain's advice was now thrown to the winds; and indeed any
heart, aged twenty-two, must have been made of cast-iron to have
resisted the rides and walks, the picnic dinners, the dances, and the
music parties, and suppers, besides the infinitely varied round of
other amusements, grave and gay, which contributed to render, and will
for ever preserve, this nook of Ireland the true terrestrial paradise
of my early days.

How the deuce I ever contrived to get out of the magic circle, I
hardly know; but if I could only feel myself at liberty, without a
breach of confidence, to give a few details of those hours, I would
stake great odds on the side of the effect which the description of
such a reality might produce, against the interest of the imaginary
scenes in almost any romance.

I have already mentioned that the gentleman whose introduction I
carried was most urgent for me to deliver the letter in person; but he
gave no reasons for this anxiety; nor indeed was I then aware, that,
besides his being an intimate friend, he was their family physician.
While acting in this capacity, he had seen with regret how ineffectual
his art had proved to alleviate the mother's sorrow caused by the
recent loss of her favourite son. The young man had been in the Navy,
and would have been about my own age and standing in the service.
These accidental coincidences suggested to her judicious and
kind-hearted friend, that as I, in some degree, resembled him in
appearance and in manners, the poor mother's thoughts and feelings
might possibly be diverted into a new channel, by the society of a
person in so many respects similarly circumstanced to the child she
had lost.

It so happened, fortunately for me, that the experiment completely
succeeded--I hope and believe, to the mother's consolation. To me, of
course, the reception I met with was matter of delight and
astonishment; so much so, indeed, that I occasionally felt somewhat
startled, and almost oppressed, with the sense of obligation imposed
by such unusual and unmerited attentions.

The first explanation of the mystery is really so touching in itself,
that I give it without reserve as I received it in a letter from this
most excellent old lady, about six months after my first acquaintance
with her, and just before I quitted England for the East Indies:--

"Once more adieu!" She concludes, "I must hope you will write to me
often; let me constantly know how you proceed, and how I can address
you; and recollect, you have received the freedom of this house. I
believe I told you I had lost a son, a lieutenant in the Navy, and of
superior talents. I therefore consider that Heaven has given you to my
care in his place--and may the Almighty protect you!"




CHAPTER III.

TRICKS UPON TRAVELLERS.


A curious and vastly pleasing fashion prevails in that part of Ireland
where I was so nearly bewitched as almost to forget my ship, my
duties, and everything else, but beauty! When a party, such as I have
been describing, had passed a certain time together, they seldom broke
up entirely, but generally shifted, or emigrated in a body (flitted, I
think they used to call it) to the house of some one of their number.
Now and then various members of the group dropped off by the way, but
their places were presently filled up by others, who soon found their
way to the new hive when the well-known sounds of festivity were heard
in the neighbourhood.

In this manner the party, into which I had been so kindly admitted,
made several moves, with sundry losses and accessions to its numbers;
and as every day rendered this life more and more grateful, I could
scarcely bear to think of returning to the tame occupations and rugged
society of the frigate, the duties of which had so recently been my
greatest and most sincere delight. Meanwhile, since my good-natured
captain, and still better-natured messmates, made no difficulties
about this protracted absenteeism, I continued to involve myself
deeper and deeper at every step. I failed not to perceive at times
that I was getting into rather a dangerous scrape for a younger son
and a young officer, who had yet to work his own way in the world. But
as these reflections interfered rather impertinently with the
enjoyments of the hour, they were crushed down, and kept out of sight
as much as possible at that gay period.

What surprised me most, all this time, was the air of refinement and
high polish in the Irish society amongst which I was thus casually
thrown. I had previously entertained an idea that their hospitality,
proverbial in all parts of the world, was of a rude and rather
troublesome description. I found it, on the contrary, marked not only
by the strongest lines of sincerity and kindness, but by many of those
delicate touches of consideration for the feelings of others which
form the most indubitable symptoms of genuine good-breeding.

Instead of discovering that the stories were true about the sort of
compulsion used in matters of drinking, I can safely say that, during
the course of experience in joviality I went through in the north of
Ireland, I seldom met with anything at a gentleman's table approaching
even to exigence on this score. I do not deny that our friends the
Irish have a wonderfully winning way of insinuating their good cheer
upon us, and sometimes of inducing us to swallow more claret than is
perhaps good for us.

I landed once at Burncrana, a pretty quiet little village, with a
watering-place look, on the eastern banks of that great and beautiful
bay Lough Swilly. One side of this fine harbour is formed by the bold
promontory of Inishowen, celebrated in every land for its noble
whiskey, second only (which, as a Scotchman, I am bound to assert) to
Ferntosh or Glenlivet. I was accompanied by an English gentleman, on
the first day of his landing in Ireland. As he then seriously imagined
the inhabitants to belong to a sort of wild and uncouth race, I could
see he was rather surprised at the gentleman-like deportment of an
acquaintance of mine resident on the spot, for whom he had brought a
letter. We had walked together to his house, or rather cottage, for he
was not a fixed resident, but came there for summer quarters. The
neatness, and even elegance, of the domestic arrangements of his
temporary establishment, both without and within the dwelling, gave
token of a taste many degrees removed from the state of people far
back in civilization. Presently the ladies came; and their national
frankness, modified by the most entire and unaffected simplicity,
puzzled my friend completely. In due season the dressing-bell sent us
off to prepare for dinner; and while we were getting ready, my
companion said, "I see what this fellow is at: he means to sew you and
me up. You may do as you please; but I'll be shot if he plays off his
Irish pranks on me. I will eat his dinner, take a couple of glasses of
his wine, make my bow to the ladies, go on board by eight or nine
o'clock, and, having given them a dinner in return, shall have done my
duty in the way of attention; after which I shall totally cut the
connection. I have no idea of their abominable fashion of forcing
strangers to drink."

"We shall see," said I; and having knocked the dust off our shoes,
down we went to dinner.

Everything was plain, and suitable to the pretensions of a cottage.
There was no pressing to eat or drink during dinner; and in process of
time the cloth was removed, the Ladies sipped a little sweet wine, and
disappeared.

"Now for it," whispered my friend; "he has sent the women out of the
way, that he may ply us the better."

And I must own things looked rather suspicious; for our host, instead
of sitting down again at the dinner-table, walked to a bow-window
overlooking the anchorage, and exactly facing the setting sun, at that
hour illuminating the whole landscape in the gorgeous style peculiar
to combined mountain and lake scenery. "Why should we not enjoy this
pleasant prospect while we are discussing our wine?" said the master
of the house. At that instant the door opened, and in walked the
servant, as if he knew by intuition what was passing in his master's
head.

"Tim," said our host, "put the card-table here in the bow-window, and
give us some other glasses; also, if you have such a thing, bring up a
bottle of claret."

Tim nodded, smiled, and made the fitting adjustments. The table was
barely large enough to hold a noble long-corked bottle, for the
fashion of claret decanters had not as yet reached that remote
district of the empire. Round the margin was placed the necessary
accompaniment of capacious glasses--famous tall fellows, with such
slender stalks that they seemed scarcely equal to the weight of their
generous load.

My friend and I exchanged glances, and I could see his shoulders
slightly raised, as if he was saying internally, "Now we are in for
it! but I will not drink a drop more than I choose." The claret, which
in itself was most delicious, was cooled in perfect style. The party
consisted, I think, of four or five persons, and this one bottle, I
remember, just passed round the group twice. As the flavour of the
beverage appeared to have become more exquisite at the second turn
than at the first, though but a short interval had been allowed to
elapse, it seemed odd that another bottle was not instantly called
for. Instead of this our landlord went on expatiating on the beauties
of the Lough, and the fineness of the season in general, and the
sunset in particular, for full five minutes after the wine had
disappeared; when he suddenly said, with a half-hesitating tone,
towards my English friend, who sat at his elbow----

"I beg your pardon! perhaps you would take some more wine?"

As no one made any objection, the bell was rung, and Tim re-appeared,
bearing with him another bottle. This likewise vanished in a trice,
and Tim was again summoned. "Bring some more claret," said the master
to the man, or rather boy, as he was called, though twice as old as
any of the party.

At this instant I caught my companion's eye; and I could see he was
becoming alive to the plot against him, so much so, indeed, that he
seemed to be preparing to rise. The following conversation, however,
attracted his attention, and fixed him to his seat. "Well, Tim, what
are you gaping at? Why don't you run for the clar't?"

"I didn't know," replied the other, "whether you'd like to use the
whole of it."

"Use the whole of it!" exclaimed his master--"what does the boy mean?
Why, Tim, what are you at?"

"Oh, sir," quoth the well-instructed rogue, "as the wine you brought
was but little, I thought you might not wish to use it all entirely
to-day." And then he whispered something in his master's ear, the words
of which we could not distinguish. The reply, however, showed, or
seemed to show, what had been said. "Nonsense, Tim, nonsense! you're
an ass, man; bring it up."

Tim accordingly disappeared, but soon returned with a basket
apparently full of straw; at the bottom of which, however, after some
considerable show of hunting, a couple of bottles were said to be
found. "Confound you, Tim, is this all?" said the host.

"It is, sir," lied Tim; "and in faith, sir," added he, still lying,
"it's one more bottle than I thought; for there was but a dozen when
we started from Derry a week ago; and you know, sir, you and the
collector on last Tuesday"

But the catalogue of circumstances which were intended to act as
buttresses to Master Tim's inventions was cut short by a peremptory
order to leave the room. This he did so soon as he had made a
circumbendibus to escape notice, and deposited the basket behind his
master's chair, muttering, as he put it down with a thump, "There's a
couple of bottles of as good wine as ever was uncorked."

The fresh broach was indeed so delicious that we could hardly believe
it was of the same vintage as that of the previous bin, though our
host assured us it was "the identical." Tim's basket well merited a
higher eulogium than he had given it; but while his reputation as a
judge of wine rose, his character for veracity fell in about the same
proportion, since we beheld, in due season, not merely two, but three,
and at last a fourth long-necked gentleman from Bordeaux emerge from
under the straw!

The trick played upon us by these confederates was now apparent
enough; but the wine, fortunately, was of that light and pure kind
which does not produce much effect on strong heads, and that of my
companion was proof against far greater trials than this. He was
indeed perfectly aware of what was passing; and though dearly loving
the wine, which was superior to any he had ever before tasted, yet he
had no notion of being made tipsy by means of a common-place concert
between host and butler. He therefore rose to leave the room,
expecting, of course, to be forcibly detained, or, at all events,
being begged and entreated to sit down again. Not a whit! The wily
native merely observed to him that "if he had a mind to admire the
prospect, there was still daylight enough to command a view down the
bay from the little knoll on the right." The Englishman was sorely
puzzled by all this. There was none of the detention he expected would
be practised upon him, and yet he had a strong consciousness that he
was undergoing the operation well known afloat and ashore by the title
of "the game of humbug." At the same time, he felt the most eager
desire to take another good pull at the claret.

There was no wine before us at this critical juncture of the evening,
and our landlord, who, most unaccountably, seemed indifferent to this
material circumstance, went on prosing for a quarter-of-an-hour about
Protestant ascendancy, the eternal siege of Derry, the battle of the
Boyne, and such like stale topics. At length one of the company became
somewhat impatient, and, watching for a pause, asked his host if it
were the custom in Ireland to discuss Orange politics with empty
glasses?

"God bless me," cried the other, with well-feigned surprise, "is there
no wine on the table?" and ringing the bell furiously, scolded poor
Tim so naturally that the confederate was almost thrown out. "Well!
you numskull, why don't you make off with you, and bring something for
the gentlemen to drink?" Tim stood fast till interrogated a second
time, and then replied with perfect gravity that "there wasn't another
drop of wine in the house." Upon this the master got up in a rage, and
brushing past the servant, declared his intention of searching the
cellar himself. He was absent some time, and we had just prevailed on
our hesitating companion to sit down again, when, as if there had been
some electrical communication between his chair and the handle of the
door, it opened, and in walked our generous entertainer, exulting in
his success, crowing like chanticleer, and bearing in each hand a
couple of bottles, clicking against each other; while Tim, with a
degree of impudence equalled only by that of his master, substituted
clean glasses, of a still more capacious swallow than the first. To
these were added two pair of candles which towered high above the
jolly crew, and promised to last till another dawn should look in upon
our revels. By this time the twilight had almost entirely ebbed away,
and was succeeded by that cheerful, aurora-kind of brilliancy in the
sky, which points out the place of the sun during the whole of his
summer night's journey in those high latitudes. Politics dropped, for
the joyous juice of the grape soon melted us all into one mind; and a
hundred topics of more pleasing interest were started, in which the
strangers could join without fear of any angry discussion. The mirth
and animation of the company rose very pleasantly as each fresh bottle
found its way by some magical process to the table. But it became
rather difficult to tell who were the listeners amongst us, or to say
who was guest and who landlord, for the party seemed like a circle of
brothers, all equally at home.

This went on for an indefinite length of time, but I should be the
veriest conjuror on earth to say how long. Through the hazy atmosphere
of my recollection of that jolly evening, I remember that about eleven
o'clock, more or less, our host was enchanted almost beyond the power
of words by seeing his wine so much relished, and tickled also with
the success of his joke, in making his suspicious guest drink just as
much wine as he thought fit to impose. On this occasion, however, he
inverted the proverb, and reckoned without his guest; for, by one
imprudent remark, he had well-nigh torn the laurels from his brow.

"Well, sir!" he exclaimed, "although this is the first day you ever
set foot on the island, you have seen enough, I hope, to satisfy you
that we are not quite such savages as you supposed; liberty hall, you
see, is the true title of every Irish gentleman's dining-room: there's
no compulsion here, you must see very clearly." It was little that my
English friend could now see very clearly of anything; but the above
premature announcement of victory brought back all the stranger's
suspicions. Fired with this idea, he started on his feet, and eyeing
the door for a long time before he ventured on the voyage, with a bold
determination, and taking a good departure from his chair, he gained
his port. He had undoubtedly expected to be lugged back again; for he
whisked the tails of his coat out of reach, while, with his other hand
on the lock of the door, and swaying himself about from side to side,
like a ship in a calm, he stood the very image of tottering
equilibrium, as the mathematicians call it. Our adroit landlord, who
was not a man to shrink from difficulties, mustered to his aid all the
resources of a long well-practised hospitality, and gallantly met this
great occasion. His devices were, probably, exhausted; so he took
another line, and called out, "Oh, you're off, are you? Very
well--you'll find the ladies in the drawing-room. I think I hear the
tinkle of the piano: I prefer the tinkle of the glass. Pray tell the
damsels we are coming by-and-bye: mind you say 'by-and-bye.' I don't
like to be too particular, for fear of seeming rude: don't you see?"

This speech was wound up by a telegraphic flourish of the hand towards
Tim, who stood near, with a bottle between his feet, the screw buried
in the cork, and his body bent to the effort, which he only delayed to
exercise till ordered by his master to pull. "Out with him, man! out
with the cork!" cried the host. The loud report which succeeded rang
over the apartment like the sweetest music to the souls of the ever
thirsty company. Tim's thunder was echoed back by a truly
bacchanalian shout, such as nothing on earth can give proper emphasis
to, except a double allowance of claret. The Englishman, fairly
subdued by the sound, glided again to the table; then seizing his
brimming glass in one hand, and grasping the fist of his merry host in
the other, he roared out,--

"You really are an uncommon good fellow; and hang me if ever I
distrust an Irishman again as long as I live!"

But within three minutes afterwards this promise was broken; for as
soon as we had discussed the bottle which the incomparable Tim had so
opportunely introduced, the master of the house, seeing us at length
quite at his mercy, and eager to go on, rose, and said, to our great
amaze,--

"Come! we've had wine enough; let's join the ladies in the next room."

The disappointed company stared at one another, and loudly proclaimed
that it was not fair to limit them in this way. The Englishman, in
particular, wished to remain; but our host was inexorable. Meanwhile,
Timothy grinned from ear to ear; familiar with his master's tricks
upon travellers; and the landlord deliberately opening the door,
marched off the field of battle with flying colours.

As we moved along to the drawing-room, my companion whispered to me,--

"I must own I have been rightly served for my suspicions. I made quite
certain of being bullied into drinking more than was agreeable to me;
but it turns out," added he, laughing, "quite the reverse; for I
cannot get a drop of wine, now that I want it."

"Well! well!" cried our hospitable friend, who overheard the
conclusion of this remark, "you shall do as you please ever after this
evening."

He then showed us to a couple of snug rooms, which he said were ours,
as long as we chose to occupy them.

For myself, I went off to the Giant's Causeway in the course of next
day; and on returning, at the end of a week, found that my friend,
instead of cutting the connection, according to promise, had not been
once out of sight of the house, and had never been asked to drink a
bottle, or even a glass, more than he liked. He declared, indeed, that
he had rarely met, in any country, with persons so truly hospitable,
or more gentleman-like, in the truest sense of these words.




CHAPTER IV.

THE ADMIRALTY LIST.


In the midst of these gay doings, which were all very well for a time,
but rather profitless on the whole, an extremely favourable opening
for promotion suddenly occurred. The late Sir Samuel Hood, on being
appointed commander-in-chief of the East India station, was applied to
by my friends, and agreed to take me with him as one of his
lieutenants. His list of _protégés_, he said, was a long one, and I
must come in last; after his old followers were provided for, but
there could not be a moment's doubt on the occasion. In his letters,
the Admiral dwelt very strongly on the importance of having the name
of his young friend, as he was good enough to call me, placed likewise
on the Admiralty List.

The purpose of this advice is easily explained. The Admiral on a
foreign station is allowed actually to appoint, or promote, to certain
vacancies only, any officer whom he pleases, while on the occurrence
of all other vacancies, except those which are thus specifically
placed at his disposal, he is furnished with what is called an
Admiralty List. In former times, whatever it be now, the Admirals
abroad were allowed to appoint officers of their own selection to
vacancies occasioned by death, or by the sentence of a court-martial;
while they were instructed to nominate those persons only who stood on
the Admiralty List to such vacancies as arose from officers falling
sick and invaliding; from the accession of ships captured and
purchased into the service; from officers deserting (which strange
event has sometimes happened); or from the squadron being increased by
ships built and launched on the station. But as these last enumerated
are, generally speaking, of much more frequent occurrence than those
which fall to the Admiral's peculiar share, an officer on the
Admiralty List has a proportionately better chance of promotion than
one who stands merely on that of the commander-in-chief.

These two lists differ essentially in one material feature. As a
matter of course, the Admiral's List possesses some degree of
stability; since a place upon it is generally won by long service
under his flag, and retained there by personal esteem or family
connection. An Admiral's follower, indeed, far from being a term of
reproach, is always one of honour, as it implies the confidence and
regard of the flag-officer. To get placed therefore, however near the
end, on the good books of a rising Admiral is almost a certain road to
promotion.

On the other hand, the Admiralty List is kept a profound secret, or,
what comes nearly to the same thing, is kept strictly out of sight of
those it most concerns. It is well known to be formidably intricate in
its arrangements, and very slippery in its promises; indeed, from the
circumstance of its depending on the fluctuating interests of party
politics, it must be essentially pie-crusty in its texture. For it is
sometimes thought in the political world that as much may be done by
propitiating antagonists as by rewarding friends. How all this may be
in sound principle I cannot tell; but nothing in practice can be more
unsteady, or less to be relied upon, as I too well know, than this
said Admiralty List. Still, the advantages of getting his name on this
precious little slip of paper are very great, though it be a most
unofficial-looking note sheet, as I can testify, from having once
incidentally been afforded a glimpse of one, on which, to my horror,
my own name was not! If the admiral of the station be also a personal
friend, that source of favour, of course, always adds another string
to the young man's bow. Circumstances likewise occasionally arise
which enable an admiral, who has an officer's interest really at
heart, to give him an extra lift at the right moment, and in the right
direction, provided his name actually stands on the Admiralty List,
even though it be ever so low down.

Before sailing for India, accordingly, I took a world of pains to make
out this grand point, tormented my friends and relations most wofully,
and, as I conceived, with eventual success. A distinct assurance was
given to a near connection of my own, and a member of parliament, that
my name would certainly stand on the First Lord's list, to be sent out
to India in his Majesty's ship Volage, of which I had the farther good
fortune to be appointed junior lieutenant. A change at the Admiralty
was then confidently expected; and I took every care, as I thought, to
have it arranged that my name should not be omitted when the new
First Lord came into power. Little dreamed I that, in the _mêlée_ of
official patronage and personal favour which shortly afterwards took
place at headquarters, my poor name would be dropped out altogether.
The provoking consequence was, however, that I had the mortification
of seeing sundry capital vacancies in India pass by, one after
another, which, had I occupied even the very low place on the fresh
list which I had filled on the old one, might have secured my
promotion several years sooner than it came.

The old Volage, in which we sailed for India, I am forced to confess,
was one of the least good-looking of all his Majesty's ships and
vessels then afloat. But by this time I cared not one fig for the
looks of my ship, though, a month or two before, I should have
considered it a point of honour to maintain its beauty. I was
delighted beyond measure to think that, at length, I was on the right
road to promotion; and this satisfaction was more than doubled by
finding the East was the region in which that great prize was to be
sought for.

Although the men-of-war and their convoy sailed from Spithead on the
25th of March, they did not reach Madeira till the 19th of April. It
is always more teasing to be delayed at the outset of a voyage than at
any other stage of its course, just as it is mortifying and hurtful to
be checked in the commencement of a profession. Upon this occasion we
had a fine rattling easterly breeze for eight-and-forty hours after
starting, which swept us all, dull sailers and good ones, merrily out
of the British Channel. This fair start is always a grand affair,
whatever succeeds; for if the prevalent westerly wind catches a ship
before the channel is left well behind, she may be driven back to
Plymouth or Falmouth, and all the agony of bills, news, leave-taking,
and letters, has to be endured over again. Whereas, if she once gets
the Lizard Light some fifty leagues astern of her, all these worrying
distractions may be considered at an end. A totally new world--the
"world of waters"--is now entered upon, far beyond the reach even of
those long-armed persons, the "gentlemen of the press," or the
startling sound of the postman's knock; that call which so often sets
off the steadiest-going pulse at a gallop!

Oh, the joy! the relief unspeakable! of feeling oneself fairly under
weigh, and of seeing the white cliffs of Old England sinking in the
north-eastern horizon right to windward! Let the concocters of
romances and other imaginary tales say what they please of the joys of
returning home; give me the happiness of a good departure, and a
boundless world of untried enjoyments ahead. If a man be out of debt
and out of love, or only moderately involved in either of these
delicate predicaments; if he have youth and health and tolerable
prospects, a good ship under his foot, good officers over him, and
good messmates to serve with, why need he wear and tear his feelings
about those he leaves behind? Or rather, why need he grieve to part
from those who are better pleased to see him vigorously doing his duty
rather than idling in other people's way at home? Or wherefore should
he sigh to quit those enjoyments in which he cannot honourably
participate till he has earned his title to them by hardy service?

On the other hand, who is there so insensible as not to feel the
deepest apprehension, on returning from a long and distant voyage?
Busy fancy will conjure up images of death and sickness, of losses and
sorrows. And when the accumulated pile of letters is first placed in
our hands after a long voyage, with what sickening eagerness do we not
turn from the superscription to discover the colour of the seal?

It happened once to me to be nearly fifteen months without receiving a
single line from home, or seeing an English newspaper. On reaching the
port of rendezvous, I found that as the ship I commanded was the only
man-of-war in the harbour, there devolved upon me an immense load of
official business requiring immediate and careful attention. All this
I learned on my way to the consul's office, where a huge budget of
letters was delivered to me. My first impulse, naturally, was to tear
away the envelopes, and dive into the secrets of these domestic
dispatches; but I paused on detecting several ominous-looking patches
of black wax, and, thrusting them all into a drawer, did not open one
till next day. Officially considered, it was well I imposed this
restraint upon my curiosity; for the fatal news these letters
contained must have seriously interfered with the exclusive
professional attention which the nature of the service required me to
bestow upon various public matters admitting of no delay; whereas, in
regard to the private intelligence, a single day, added to so many
months, signified nothing.

After leaving Spithead, our two days of fair wind were enough to take
us clear of the channel, and well off the bank of soundings, far
beyond the danger of return. A tolerable spell of bad weather then
came on, which in one sense was of essential service, by contributing
greatly to assist the first lieutenant's arrangements, though it
discomfited most grievously the apple-pie order of those disturbers of
his peace, the shore-going, long-coated gentry, our passengers, whom
the sailors, in their coarse but graphic vocabulary, call "dog
robbers," from their intercepting the broken meat on its way to the
kennel from their master's table. Our gale of wind, indeed, was no
gale to speak of; but as the sea rose, and a heavy press of canvas
laid the creaking old barky well over on her broadside, many of the
beautifully piled boxes, the well-packed portmanteaus, the polished
dressing cases and writing-desks, the frail glass, crockery, and other
finery, fetched way, and went rattling, smash! dash! right into the
lee scuppers. In the next instant, the great bulk of these materials
were jerked back again to their original situation, by that peculiar
movement, so trying to unpractised nerves, called a lurch to windward.
To unaccustomed ears, the sounds on this occasion lead one to suppose
the ship is going to pieces; while the cries for help from the
broken-shinned, sea-sick landsmen, the bawling for cleats and lashings
from the mate of the decks, the thumping of hammers, and the loud