chiefly his officers and crew, who perform any useful public service,
he invariably reaps at least his full share of the credit. His real
interest, therefore, must always be, not merely to draw about him the
ablest men he can induce to follow him, but to allow them the utmost
latitude of independent action and responsibility, and as much of the
merit of success as possible. If he persevere sincerely in this
course, he will soon discover that the more he endeavours to remove
the credit from himself, or, rather, to divide it handsomely with
those who are acting with him, the more will he generally find the
merit given back to himself.

I suspect few people have the smallest notion of what a sailor's
wardrobe consists. Every one has, indeed, a vague idea that he must
have a blue jacket and trousers, and a low, canvas, shining sort of
affair, stuck on one side of his head, and called by him a hat. But of
any further particulars, the shore-going world really knows about as
little as they do respecting the dresses of the Emperor of China.
Honest Jack, it is very true, is not much encumbered with clothes;
and too often his wardrobe sadly resembles that of the Honourable Mr.
Dowlas, which was so easily transportable in the Honourable Mr.
Dowlas's pocket-handkerchief. Yet if he have the opportunity, poor
fellow, and be duly encouraged, he is not a little of a dandy in his
way.

In a well-regulated ship, a sailor's kit consists generally of at
least two blue jackets, and one pea jacket, which is a sort of
lumbering shaggy surtout, or curtailed great-coat, capable of being
wrapped round the body, so as to cover the thighs. Why it is called a
pea jacket I should be glad to be informed by any knowing person; and
I beg leave accordingly to refer the question to that corner of the
United Service Journal reserved for technical queries, a valuable
niche in that ably conducted periodical. A seaman must also have two
pairs of blue trousers, two pairs of shoes, six shirts, four pairs of
stockings, two Guernsey frocks, made of a sort of worsted
stocking-work, without any opening in front; two hats, two black
handkerchiefs, and a comforter to wrap round the throat; together with
several pairs of flannel drawers and waistcoats; for in hot, as well
as in cold climates, and at all times of the year, the men are now
encouraged, as much as possible, to wear flannel next the skin.

The above forms the kit of a sailor in a ship stationed in high
latitudes. On the Mediterranean station, or on that of North America,
there is such a mixture of severe and mild weather, that a larger
stock is necessary than when the ship is employed exclusively in a
cold, or in a hot climate. On the Indian, South American, and West
Indian stations, which lie almost entirely between the tropics,
woollen clothing gradually disappears, and the men are apt to suffer a
good deal on returning to colder regions; it being hardly to be
expected that folks of such improvident habits as sailors will be able
to take care of articles of dress, for several years together, for
which they have no immediate use.

I remember a captain, whose ship had been often exposed to these
alternations, amusing his people very much on entering the tropics, by
directing them to roll up all their blue clothes, worsted stockings,
and so on, in neat bundles, each having the name and number of the
person it belonged to written on a wooden tally, and fastened to it.
These being all collected, and packed carefully in well-dried,
watertight casks, were stowed away in the hold, and forgotten, till
the pinching blasts off Cape Horn made the unpacking of the casks a
scene of as great joy as ever attended the opening of a box of finery
at a boarding-school gala.

In warm climates, the stock of a man-of-war sailor consists of four
duck frocks, which are more like shirts than anything else, with
sundry strings, and touches of blue binding about the breast and
collar, which is generally lined with blue, and allowed to fall over
the shoulders. It is totally contrary to Jack's habits to have
anything tight about his throat; and one of the chief causes of his
invincible estrangement from the royal marine corps is their
stiff-necked custom of wearing polished leather stocks. I hardly
suppose there could be found any motive strong enough to induce a
genuine sailor to buckle a permanent collar round his neck with any
tolerable grace; the alternative of the yard-arm would almost be
preferable! His delight is to place a black or coloured silk
handkerchief lightly over his neck, and to confine its ends across his
breast by means of one of the small bones or vertebrae of a shark,
which forms a neat, white, perforated cylinder. Some very prime
dandies of the mizen-top fold a part of their handkerchief over the
shoulders and back; but it requires the aid of a handsome person, and
a good deal of modest assurance, to make this tolerable.

They must also provide themselves with four pairs of duck trousers, a
straw hat for fine weather, and a canvas or beaver one for squalls,
though this need not be insisted on. Shoes are not much used, except
by those whose work lies aloft; and prudent hands generally keep a
blue jacket by them, in case of rain or night-work. It is not a bad
rule to muster the crew occasionally with blue jackets, even in hot
weather, to see that such things are really in existence. Each man
has, of course, a bed, a pillow, and two blankets; sheets are never
heard of. He has also two hammocks, one of which is slung and in use,
the other scrubbed, dry, and stowed away, ready to be exchanged for
the dirty one. The hammocks, at the time I first went to sea (1802),
were made of a coarse brown stuff, which it was difficult, if not
impossible, to make white by any amount of scrubbing; and, what was
worse, so thick that it was by no means easily dried. Now-a-days, they
are generally made either of canvas, or of a twilled sacking, and,
when spread out, measure 4-1/2 feet by 3-1/2; but when lashed up, and
ready for stowing away in the netting, they form long sacks, about as
big as a man's body, but not tapering to the ends.

In ships where much pains is taken to have the hammocks stowed
properly, they are lashed up, so as to preserve the same width all
along, and with neither more nor fewer than seven turns with a
well-blacked small lashing, carefully passed round at equal intervals.
When the hammocks are prepared in this way, and all made of the same
size, (which condition may be secured by putting them through a ring
of given dimensions,) they are laid in symmetrical order all round the
ship, above the bulwark, on the quarter-deck and forecastle, and in
the waist nettings along the gangways. Each hammock, it may be
mentioned, has a separate number painted neatly upon it on a small,
white, oval patch, near one of the corners; so that, when they are all
stowed in the nettings, a uniform line of numbers extends round the
ship, and the hammock of any man who may be taken ill can be found by
his messmates in a moment. The bags, in like manner, of which each
person has two, are numbered separately. In rainy weather the hammocks
are securely covered by painted cloths.

As a seaman's kit generally forms his whole property, it ought to be
carefully preserved, and every possible facility given that the
service will allow of for his keeping it in good order. A captain of
any consideration will naturally bear in mind, that, as the comfort
and health of the men under his command depend most materially upon
the manner in which they are clad, and especially upon the damp or dry
state of their dress, it becomes an important branch of his duty to
see that their things are taken care of with as much exactness as the
spare sails, cordage, or provisions. It much too frequently happens,
however, that the unfortunate sailors' clothes are more torment to
them than advantage, and they may think themselves lucky if they can
catch hold of a jacket or trousers to shift withal, so eternally are
they interfered with by some inconsiderate officers. "Pipe the bags
up!" "Pipe the bags down!" "Stow the bags afresh!" "Pipe to scrub the
bags!" and twenty such orders are given in a day in some ships, to the
endless misery of the people. It is, no doubt, necessary that the bags
should be scrubbed and stowed properly, and be piped up and down at
the proper times and seasons. But there are two ways of doing these
things: one, which gives the men no more trouble than is absolutely
unavoidable; the other, which harasses and justly provokes them. It is
not enough to say that they must submit, whether they like it or not.
They will submit, it is true; but in what temper? and how will these
men work when called upon to exert themselves, if they are habitually
treated with disrespect, and exposed to needless, and even impertinent
worry? I have even heard of some crack ships, as they are termed,
where the poor devils are obliged to pipe-clay their bags, to make
them look white, forsooth! Why, the very idea of pipe-clay is gall and
wormwood to the taste of the Johnnies. Of late years I understand
there have been introduced black painted water-proof bags, which are a
great comfort to the men. Besides keeping out wet, they require no
trouble to scrub and dry, and, after all, are fully as clean, and far
more useful in every respect.

To show the various sorts of outfit which the men composing a
man-of-war's crew may be furnished with on first coming on board, I
shall describe a scene which took place on the Leander's
quarter-deck, off the Port of New York, in 1804. We were rather
short-handed in those days; and being in the presence of a blockaded
enemy, and liable, at half-an-hour's warning, to be in action, we
could not afford to be very scrupulous as to the ways and means by
which our numbers were completed, so that able-bodied men were secured
to handle the gun-tackle falls. It chanced one day that we fell in
with a ship filled with emigrants; a description of vessel called, in
the classical dictionary of the cockpit, an "Irish guinea man." Out of
her we pressed twenty Irishmen, besides two strapping fellows from
Yorkshire, and one canny Scot.

Each of this score of Pats was rigged merely in a great coat, and a
pair of something which might be called an apology for inexpressibles;
while the rest of their united wardrobe could have been stowed away in
the crown of any one of their hats. Their motives for emigrating to a
country where mere health and strength of body are sure to gain an
independent provision were obvious enough; and I must say, that to
this hour I have not been able to forget the melancholy cry or howl
with which the separation of these hardy settlers from their families
was effected by the strong arm of power. It was a case of necessity,
it is true; but still it was a cruel case, and one for the exercise of
which the officer who put it in force deserves almost as much pity as
the poor wretches whose feelings and interests it became his bounden
duty to disregard.

In most admired contrast to this bewildered drove of half-starved
Paddies stood the two immense, broad-shouldered, high-fed
Yorkshiremen, dressed in long-tailed coats, corduroy breeches, and
yellow-topped boots, each accompanied by a chest of clothes not much
less than a pianoforte, and a huge pile of spades, pick-axes, and
other implements of husbandry. They possessed money also, and letters
of credit, and described themselves as being persons of some substance
at home. Why they emigrated they would not tell; but such were their
prospects, that it was difficult to say whether they or the wild
Irishers were the most to be commiserated for so untoward an
interruption. Be this as it may, it cost the clerk half-an-hour to
write down a list of their multifarious goods and chattels, while a
single scratch of the pen sufficed for that of all the Irishmen.

At last honest Saunders came under review. He was a tall, raw-boned,
grave-looking personage, much pitted with the smallpox, and wearing a
good deal of that harassed and melancholy air, which, sooner or later,
settles on the brow of an assistant to a village pedagogue. He was
startled, but not abashed, when drawn to the middle of the deck, and
asked, in the presence of fifty persons, what clothes and other things
he possessed? Not choosing at first to betray his poverty, he made no
answer, but looked round, as if to discover where his chest had been
placed. He then glanced at his thread-bare sleeve and tattered shoon,
with a slight touch of dry and bitter humour playing about the corners
of his mouth, and a faint sparkle lighting up his grey and sunken eye,
as he returned the impatient official stare of the clerk, who stood,
pen in hand, ready to note down the items.

"Don't be frightened, man," said the captain; "no one is going to
hurt you, your things are quite safe. What does your property consist
of?"

"A trifle, sir, a trifle," quoth poor Sawney; "fourpence ha'penny and
an auld knife!"

Before concluding this subject, it may perhaps be useful to remark,
that, unless in those cases where such a measure is absolutely
necessary, the actual examination and minute recording of the men's
clothes might, in general, be advantageously dispensed with. I have,
indeed, occasionally fancied I saw traces of irritation and wounded
pride amongst the men, when all their little knick-knacks, every hat,
hose, and handkerchief, or old shoe, was examined into and noted down,
to be reproduced that day month, or its absence accounted for. I tried
a middle course in my own ship, which appeared to answer all the
purposes required. From time to time the men were ordered to bring
their bags to divisions, and to spread out their clothes to air on the
deck, over the guns, along the hammock-nettings, or in the rigging. In
this way the officers and mids, who passed repeatedly up and down the
line, had opportunities enough, if they did their duty, to see that
all the clothes were clean, dry, and in good order. When any man's
things were observed not to be in the condition demanded by the
regulations of the ship, or he was found ragged in his clothes, or not
properly dressed, then such delinquent was no longer indulged with the
exemption, but had his kit subjected to a daily, or weekly, or monthly
scrutiny, as the case might be. As long as he was in this predicament,
he was obliged to exhibit every article in proper condition, and was
not at liberty, without asking leave, to destroy even such worn-out
things as an old Jew clothesman would turn up his beard at. I took
care that no part of this surveillance should be talked of as a
punishment, although, unquestionably, it was intended and felt as
such; but studied rather to give it the character of a necessary duty
in the instance of individuals who, if not so watched, would, by their
misconduct, hurt the general discipline of the ship. It was very
seldom that any one exposed to such drilling for a month or six weeks
ever brought himself within the range of its humiliation a second
time.

FOOTNOTES:

[6] CLASSES AND DENOMINATIONS OF HER MAJESTY'S SHIPS.

1. Rated Ships, viz.:--

_First Rate_.--All Three-decked Ships.

_Second Rate_.--One of Her Majesty's Yachts, and all Two-decked Ships
whose war complements consist of 700 men and upwards.

_Third Rate_.--Her Majesty's other Yachts, and all such Yachts as may
bear the Flag or Pendant of an Admiral or Captain Superintending one
of Her Majesty's Dock-yards; and all Ships whose complements are under
700 and not less than 600.

_Fourth Rate_.--Ships whose complements are under 600 and not less
than 400.

_Fifth Rate_.--Ships whose complements are under 400 and not less than
250.

_Sixth Rate_.--Ships under 250.

2. Sloops and Bomb-Vessels; all such as are commanded by Commanders.

3. All other smaller Vessels; such as are commanded by Lieutenants or
inferior officers.




CHAPTER XIII.

SAILORS' PETS.


A dog is the most obvious and natural pet for a gentleman; but still,
a dog, with all his familiarity, is a selfish sort of companion, for
he generally bestows his whole sociability either upon his master, or
his master's servant who feeds him, or upon his master's friend who
accompanies him to the fields. To all others he is not only cold, but
often surly and impertinent. This, indeed, would matter little, if
there were not unfortunately a proverb extant, which has led perhaps
to more squabbles, duels, and other uncharitableness, than most other
causes of dispute. This pugnacious proverb, "Love me, love my dog,"
being interpreted, signifies, "If you kick my dog, I kick you." Then
follows, if not the kick, words which hurt honour quite as much, and
in the end too often draw away the life-blood of warriors who, but
for some mangy cur, might have fought themselves into companionship in
public usefulness and fame with "Duncan, Howe, or Jarvis."

No dog, therefore, can ever become a very general favourite of the
crew; for it is so completely his nature to be exclusive in his
regards, that were a whole pack of hounds on board, they would not be
enough, nor afford a tenth part of the amusement which a single monkey
serves out to a ship's company. I take good care, accordingly, never
to be without one in any ship I command, on the sheer principle of
keeping the men employed, in a good humoured way, when they chance to
have no specific duty to attend to. It must be recollected that we are
often exposed to long periods of inaction, during which mischief is
very apt to be brewed amongst the people.

But if a good monkey be allowed to run about the ship, I defy any one
to continue long in a bad humour. Jacko is an overmatch for the demon
of idleness, at least if light hearts and innocent diversions be
weapons against which he cannot long contend. Be this as it may, I
make a rule of entering a monkey as speedily as possible after
hoisting my pendant; and if a reform takes place in the table of
ratings, I would recommend a corner for the "ship's monkey," which
should be borne on the books for "full allowance of victuals,"
excepting only the grog; for I have observed that a small quantity of
tipple very soon upsets him; and although there are few things in
nature more ridiculous than a monkey half-seas over, yet the reasons
against permitting such pranks are obvious and numerous.

When Lord Melville, then First Lord of the Admiralty, to my great
surprise and delight, put into my hands a commission for a ship going
to the South American station, a quarter of the world I had long
desired to visit, my first thought was, "Where now shall I manage to
find a merry rascal of a monkey?" Of course, I did not give audible
expression to this thought in the First Lord's room; but, on coming
down-stairs, I had a talk about it in the hall with my friend, the
late Mr. Nutland, the porter, who laughed, and said,--

"Why, sir, you may buy a wilderness of monkeys at Exeter 'Change."

"True! true!" and off I hurried in a Hackney coach. Mr. Cross, not
only agreed to spare me one of his choicest and funniest animals, but
readily offered his help to convey him to the ship. "Lord, sir!" said
he, "there is not an animal in the whole world so wild or fierce that
we can't carry about as innocent as a lamb; only trust to me, sir, and
your monkey shall be delivered on board your ship in Portsmouth
Harbour as safely as if he were your best chronometer going down by
mail in charge of the master." Accordingly he was in a famous
condition for his breakfast next morning, when the waterman ferried
him off from Common Hard to the hulk, on board which the officers had
just assembled. As the ship had been only two or three days in
commission, few seamen had as yet entered; but shortly afterwards they
came on board in sufficient numbers; and I have sometimes ascribed the
facility with which we got the ship manned, not a little to the
attractive agency of the diverting vagabond, recently come from town,
the fame of whose tricks soon extended over Portsea; such as catching
hold of the end of the sail-maker's ball of twine, and paying the
whole overboard, hand over hand, from a secure station in the rigging;
or stealing the boatswain's silver call, and letting it drop from the
end of the cat-head; or his getting into one of the cabin ports and
tearing up the captain's letters, a trick at which even the stately
skipper can only laugh.

One of our monkey's grand amusements was to watch some one arranging
his clothes bag. After the stowage was completed, and everything put
carefully away, he would steal round, untie the strings, and having
opened the mouth of the bag draw forth in succession every article of
dress, first smell it, then turn it over and over, and lastly fling it
away on the wet deck. It was amusing enough to observe, that all the
while he was committing any piece of mischief he appeared not only to
be under the fullest consciousness of guilt, but living in the perfect
certainty that he was earning a good sound drubbing for his pains.
Still the pleasure of doing wrong was so strong and habitual within
him, that he seemed utterly incapable of resisting the temptation.
While thus occupied, and alternately chattering with terror, and
screaming with delight, till the enraged owner of the property burst
in upon him, hardly more angry with Jacko than with his malicious
messmates, who, instead of preventing, had rather encouraged the
pillage.

All this was innocent, however, compared to the tricks which the
blue-jackets taught him to play upon the jolly marines. How they set
about this laudable piece of instruction, I know not; but the
antipathy which they established in Jacko's breast against the red
coats was something far beyond ordinary prejudice, and in its
consequences partook more of the interminable war between cat and dog.
At first he merely chattered, or grinned contemptuously at them; or,
at worst, snapped at their heels, soiled their fine pipe-clayed
trousers, or pulled the cartridges out of their cartouch-boxes, and
scattered the powder over the decks; feats for which his rump was
sure to smart under the ratan of the indignant sergeant, to whom the
"party" made their complaint. Upon these occasions the sailors laughed
so heartily at their friend Jacko, as he placed his hands behind him,
and, in an agony of rage and pain, rubbed the seat of honour tingling
under the sergeant's chastisement, that if he could only have reasoned
the matter, he would soon have distrusted this offensive but not
defensive alliance with the Johnnies against the Jollies. Sometimes,
indeed, he appeared to be quite sensible of his absurd position, caned
by his enemy, and ridiculed by his friends, in whose cause he was
suffering. On these occasions, he often made a run, open-mouthed, at
the sailors; in return for which mutinous proceeding he was sure to
get a smart rap over the nose from his own party, which more than
counterpoised the anguish at the other extremity of his person, giving
ludicrous occupation to both his hands, and redoubling the shouts of
laughter at his expense. In short, poor St. Jago literally got what is
currently called monkey's allowance, viz. "more kicks than halfpence."

In process of time, as Mr. Monkey, by dint of that bitter monitor,
experience, gained higher knowledge in the art of marine warfare and
ship diplomacy, he became much more formidable in his attacks on the
"corps," and generally contrived to keep himself well beyond the reach
of the sergeant's merciless ratan. One of the favourite pranks of the
sailors was to place him near the break of the forecastle, with a
handspike, taken from the bow-chaser gun, in his paws. It was quite as
much as he could carry, and far more than he could use as a missile
against the royals; but he was soon instructed in a method of
employing it, which always grievously annoyed the enemy.
Theoretically, I presume poor Jacko knew no more of the laws of
gravitation, than his friends, the seamen, did of centrifugal action,
when swinging round the hand-lead to gain soundings, by pitching it
far forward into the water; but both the monkey and his wicked
associates knew very well, that if a handspike were held across the
top of the forecastle ladder, and let go when a person was about
half-way down it, the heels of the said individual would be sure to
bring up, or stop the bar. The unhappy marine, therefore, who happened
to be descending the steps when Jacko let his handspike fall,
generally got the skin taken off his heels, or his instep, according
as his rear or his front was turned towards the foe. The instant Jacko
let go his hold, and the law of gravitation began to act, so that the
handspike was heard to rattle down the ladder, off he jumped to the
bow of the barge, overlooking the spot, and there sat, with his neck
stretched out, his eyes starting from his head, and his lips drawn
back, till his teeth, displayed from ear to ear, rapped against one
another like a pair of castanets in a bolero, under the influence of
the most ecstatic alarm, curiously mixed up with the joy of complete
success. The poor wounded Gulpin, in the mean time, rubbed his ankles
as he fired off a volley of imprecations, the only effect of which was
to increase the number of his audience, grinning and laughing in
chorus with the terrified mischief-monger.

I remember seeing a marine, of more than usual activity, and who had
before been served this trick, catch hold of the end of the weather
middle stay-sail sheet, hanging from the booms, and, before Jacko
knew what he was about, succeed in giving him such a cut across his
sconce as the animal never forgot or forgave. Next morning the monkey
stowed himself away behind the pumps, till the same marine passed; he
then sprung out, and laid hold of him by the calf of the leg; and, in
spite of sundry kicks and cuffs, never once relaxed his jaws till the
teeth met amongst what the loblolly boy, in the pride of his
anatomical knowledge, called the "gastrocnemii muscles" of his enemy's
leg. The cries of "murder!" from the soldier, brought the marines and
many of the sailors under the half-deck to the poor fellow's rescue;
while the author of the mischief scuttled off among the men's feet,
chattering and screaming all the way. He was not again seen during two
or three days; at the end of which, as the wounded "troop" was not
much hurt, a sort of truce was proclaimed between the red and the blue
factions of the ship. Doubtless the armistice was all the better kept
in consequence of some tolerably intelligible hints from the higher
powers, that the peace of the ship was no longer to be invaded to make
sport for those who were evidently more idle than they ought to be,
and for whom, therefore, a little additional work might possibly be
found.

Old Jacko, however, like one of the weaker states of Europe, whose
fate and fortunes are settled by the protocols of the surrounding
political giants, was no party to these treaties; and having once
tasted the joys of revenge, he could not keep his teeth quiet, but
must needs have another bite. Upon this occasion, however, he kept
clear of the corps, and attacked one of his oldest and dearest
friends, no less a personage than the captain of the foretop. It was
in warm weather, and the men, as usual, were dining on the main-deck;
the grog had been served out, and the happy Johnnies were just
beginning to sip their darling beverage, when Mr. Mischief,
incessantly occupied in his vocation of wrong doing, and utterly
incapable of resisting any good opening to get himself into a scrape,
saw the grog-kid of the captain of the top's mess standing by the
fore-hatchway. So he paced round, as if seeking for a bit of bread,
but all the while keeping his face turned just so far from the fated
grog-vessel that no one suspected his design. On reaching the spot his
heart began to fail him, but not his wickedness; indeed, his was the
very beau ideal of that character described in the satire of Junius,
which, "without courage enough to resist doing a bad action, has yet
virtue enough to be ashamed of it." Whether or not these mixed motives
influenced old Jacko, I cannot pretend to say; but there he sat
chattering, screaming, and trembling, as if the sergeant's cane had
been within an inch of his hide.

"What ails you, my dear Mr. St. James?" said the captain of the top,
playfully addressing the monkey. "What are you afraid of? Nobody is
going to hurt you; we are all sailors and friends here, man. Not a
marine within hail of you!"

At this stage of the colloquy the sly rogue having mustered all his
energies, fairly grasped the grog-kid in his arms, and, making a clean
spring from the deck, placed himself, at the first bound, beyond the
reach of the horror-stricken seaman. This exploit was not so adroitly
performed as it might have been if Jacko had been less agitated, and
one-half of the delicious nectar in the sailor's cup was jerked out.

"You bloody thundering rascal of a monkey!" bellowed the astounded
topman; "let go the kid, or I'll shy this knife at your head!"

The threat was no sooner uttered than executed; for the sailor,
without waiting to see the effect of his summons, threw the knife; and
had not his saintship ducked his head, there would have been an end of
monkey tricks for that cruise. As the glittering steel passed before
the wicked scamp's eyes, the flash deprived him of all recollection of
the mischief in hand: with a loud yell he leaped on the booms, and in
his terror let the prize slip from his grasp. It fell on the cooming
of the hatchway, hung for one instant, and then dashed right down into
the fore-cockpit, to the infinite astonishment of the boatswain's
yeoman, a thirsty soul, and familiar with drink in all its shapes, but
who declared he never before had tried grog in a shower-bath.

Up started the enraged party of seamen on their feet. "All hands catch
monkey!" was the cry; and in ten seconds the whole crew, including the
cook with his ladle, and his mate with the tormentors in his hand,
were seen scrambling on deck. Jacko scampered like lightning up the
main-stay, and reached the top before any of the men, who had mounted
the rigging, were half-a-dozen ratlines above the hammocks. The
officers rushed to the quarter-deck, naturally fancying from the
bustling sounds that a man was overboard; but they were soon
undeceived by the shouts of laughter which resounded from every part
of the ship, low and aloft.

For a few moments Jacko sat on the main-cap, chattering at such a rate
that, had it been dark, one of the men said, you could have seen the
sparks of fire from his teeth. I do not quite believe this; but
certainly I never witnessed such an expression of fear. A dozen men
were soon pouring into the top, while two others were stealing up the
stay, and four or five had got into the topmast-shrouds, to cut off
his retreat in that direction; finally, an active fellow leaped from
the rigging to the topmast, and sliding down the well-greased spar,
almost plumped on the devoted head of this master of the revels. It
was now absolutely necessary for Jacko to do something; so he made a
clear run down the main lift to the lower yard-arm. The gunner's mate
foreseeing this manoeuvre, had sprung to guard his department, and had
already lain out as far as the inner boom iron, with a gasket in his
hand, and quite certain of catching the chase. Not a bit! "A gunner's
mate catch a monkey!" The fable of the Tortoise and the Hare affords
but a feeble simile to characterize such a match; and before old
Hard-a-weather and his gasket had reached the yard-arm, our nimble
Mona had trotted half-way up the leach of the topsail, and was seated
as familiarly on the bridle of the maintop-bowline, as if he had been
perched on the feathery branch of a cocoa-nut tree, enjoying the sea
breeze, in his native island, amongst the beautiful Cape de Verdes.

The sailors were now fairly baffled, and still more so when the expert
rogue chose to climb a little higher, and then to walk deliberately
along the standing part of the main-topsail brace to the mizen-topmast
head; whence, as if to divert himself, or force his pursuers to mingle
admiration with their rage, he made a flying leap downwards to the
peak haulyards, scampering along the single part till he reached the
end of the gaff. There he sat laughing at a hundred and fifty men and
boys, employed in the vain attempt to catch one monkey!

Sailors are certainly not men to give up a pursuit lightly; but after
an hour of as hard labour as I ever witnessed, they were all obliged
to relinquish the chase from sheer fatigue, and poor Jacko was
pardoned by acclamation. The captain of the foretop, however, a couple
of days afterwards, more out of fun than from any ill-will on the old
grog score, gave the monkey's ear a pinch, upon which the animal
snapped at his thumb, and bit it so seriously that the man was obliged
to apply to the doctor. When this was reported to me by the surgeon, I
began to think my four-footed friend was either getting rather too
much licence, or that too many liberties were taken with him, so I
gave orders that in future he should be let alone. Nevertheless, Jacko
contrived to bite two more of the people, one of whom was the
sergeant, the other the midshipmen's boy. These were all wounded in
one day; and when the surgeon came to me next morning, as usual, with
the sick-list in his hand, he was rather in dudgeon.

"Really, sir," said he, "this does seem rather too much of the monkey.
Here are no fewer than three persons in my list from bites of this
infernal beast."

"Three!" I exclaimed, and straightway got angry, partly at my own
folly, partly at the perversity of my pet, and also somewhat nettled
by the tone not very unreasonably assumed by the doctor. "Send Black,
the quarter-master, here directly." He soon came.

"Don't you take care of the monkey?" I asked.

"Yes, sir, I do. You gave me charge of him."

"Well! and why don't you prevent his biting the people?"

"I can't prevent him, sir."

"No! Then throw him overboard!" I cried--"over with him at once! There
he stands, in charge of the corporal and two marines; pitch him right
over the lee-gangway. I will not have the ship's company killed and
wounded at this rate. Over with him, I say!"

The quarter-master moved off to the lee-gangway, and took the
terrified animal in his arms; while, on its part, the poor creature
seemed conscious of its approaching fate, and spread out its arms over
the seaman's bare breast, as if to supplicate his mercy. The old
sailor, who looked mightily as if he were going to melt upon the
occasion, cast a petitioning glance to windward every now and then
from under the edge of his straw hat, as I paced up and down the deck,
still fuming away at the doctor's demi-official reproach. As I saw the
fellow wished to say something, I at length asked him whether he had
any proposal to make respecting his wicked and troublesome pet. The
old man's face brightened up with this prospect of a respite for his
favourite; and, after humming and hawing for a minute, he said,--

"It is all owing to these two great teeth, sir; if they were out, he
would be as harmless as any lamb."

"I tell you what it is," I replied, catching at this suggestion, "I
positively will not have the whole ship's company driven one after
another into the sick list by your confounded monkey; but if you
choose to draw those wild-boar tusks of his, you may let him live."

Few reprieves were ever hailed at the foot of the gallows with more
joy by the friends of a felon than this announcement of a commutation
of Mr. St. Jago's sentence was received by his affectionate
companions. Even the marines, though constitutionally predisposed
against him, were glad of the change; and I heard the sentry at the
cabin door say, "I knew the captain had too much regard for the animal
to do him an injury."

Injury, indeed! I question whether poor Jacko thought the alternative
any favour. At all events, his friends seemed grievously puzzled how
to fulfil the conditions of his exemption from a watery grave; for I
could perceive a council of war going on upon the lee side of the main
deck, as to the best method of proceeding in the affair of the tusks.

"Who'll hold the monkey?" said one.

No answer was made to this. It was like the old story of belling the
cat; but there was no Douglas so bold as to try the experiment on
Master Jacko, who at any time was a powerful animal, and would, it was
naturally inferred, make a tenfold effort when his teeth were the
objects of attack.

"Even suppose we could tie the poor unfortunate victim," said the
quarter-master, "who knows how to pull out these great big teeth? We
might break his jaw in the operation."

There was a long pause.

"I dare say," at length cried one of the party, "that the doctor's
mate, who is a good-natured gentleman, would be so kind as to tell us
how we can manage this affair."

A deputation of the monkey's friends was accordingly despatched to
present a humble petition to the surgeon's assistant, praying that he
would be graciously pleased to lend his professional aid in saving the
jaw, and perhaps the life, of one of the most diverting vagabonds in
his Majesty's service.

Fortunately, the assistant medico was not one of those priggish
puppies who, having little professional knowledge to balance their own
inherent stupidity, fancy it necessary to support their dignity by the
agency of etiquettes alone. He was, on the contrary, a young man of
skill, good sense, and right feelings, who cared nothing at all about
his dignity when he could be of any use; or rather, who left it to
take care of itself, without thinking of anything but his business. To
tell the truth, he was so much a lover of his art that he felt
secretly tickled with the idea of a new operation, and experienced on
the occasion that peculiar pleasure, known, it is said, only to the
faculty, when a complicated and difficult case falls into their hands.
He had just mixed a glass of grog, after the day's work was done, and
was eyeing the beverage with that sort of serene anticipation which
the sober certainty of waking bliss is sure to produce, when the
deputation made their appearance, having first sent in the boy, whose
arm was still in a sling from the bite of the monkey.

"Are you in a hurry?" said the doctor, on hearing the novel petition;
for he had nestled himself into the corner of the berth, with one foot
on the bench, the other on the table, and his glass of "half-and-half"
glowing like amber between his eye and the solitary glim of those
profound regions, those diamond mines from which the Hoods and the
Hardys of times past and times present have been drawn up to the very
tip-top of their profession.

"Yes, sir," replied the spokesman of the party. "There is no time to
be lost, for the captain, who is in a great rage, says, if we don't
extricate the monkey's grinders, overboard he goes to a certainty."

"Extricate is not the word, you blockhead; extract, I suppose you
mean. Besides, I fancy it is not his grinders which the captain has
ordered to be removed, but his eye-teeth, or tusks, as they may fairly
be called."

"Well, sir," said the impatient seaman, "just as you please, tushes or
high teeth, if you'll only be kind enough to come and help us out of
this plaguy mess, and save the poor dumb animal's life."

The quick clatter of feet up the ladders gave the signal that the
successful deputation were returning to the anxious party assembled
between the two guns just abaft the gangway-ladder, and nearly abreast
the after-hatchway, and immediate preparations were made for the
operation.

While these preparations were going on, the learned doctor had leisure
to consider the case more attentively; and it occurred to him that it
would be needless cruelty to draw the poor beast's tusks, and
therefore he exchanged that too well-known instrument, the dentist's
key, for a pair of bone-nippers, with which he proposed merely to
break off the points.

"I don't know exactly about that," said the perplexed quarter-master,
when the assistant surgeon explained his views of the matter. "The
captain said to me, 'Draw those wild bear's tushes out of him;' and I
am afraid, if they are only broken, the monkey may still have a chance
for going astern."

"Nonsense, nonsense!" interrupted the judicious doctor. "Can you
suppose the captain wished that anything should he done to the animal
but just enough to prevent his biting the people?"

And, suiting the action to the word, he closed the fatal pincers, and
nipped away the ends of the offending tusks, it is to be hoped without
causing him any great pain. But although poor Jacko probably did not
suffer much, his rage knew no bounds; and no sooner was the canvas
unfolded, than he sprang towards the after-hatchway, and catching the
sergeant's hand in his mouth, closed his jaws with all his force.
Instinctively the soldier's cane was in the air, but a dozen voices
roared out, "He can't bite! He has got no tushes left! Don't hit him!"
And, sure enough, although Mr. St. Jago gnawed and struggled, he could
make no impression on the well-tanned fist of the veteran, but, at
length, slunk off quite abashed, amidst the shouts and laughter of the
crew.

When the ship came to England, and was paid off, I turned over the