certainty of a definitely spurious class of homosexual persons. Everyone
of Hirschfeld's three classes may well contain a majority of genuinely
homosexual or bisexual persons. The prostitutes and even the blackmailers
are certainly genuine inverts in very many cases. Those persons, again,
who allow themselves to be the recipients of homosexual attentions may
well possess traces of homosexual feeling, and are undoubtedly in very
many cases lacking in vigorous heterosexual impulse. Finally, the persons
who turn to their own sex when forcibly excluded from the society of the
opposite sex, can by no means be assumed, without question, to be normal
heterosexual persons. It is only a small proportion of heterosexual
persons who experience these impulses under such conditions. There are
always others who under the same conditions remain emotionally attracted
to the opposite sex and sexually indifferent to their own sex. There is
evidently a difference, and that difference may most reasonably be
supposed to be in the existence of a trace of homosexual feeling which is
called into activity under the abnormal conditions, and subsides when the
stronger heterosexual impulse can again be gratified.

The real distinction would seem, therefore, to be between a homosexual
impulse so strong that it subsists even in the presence of the
heterosexual object, and a homosexual impulse so weak that it is eclipsed
by the presence of the heterosexual object. We could not, however,
properly speak of the latter as any more "spurious" or "pseudo" than the
former. A heterosexual person who experiences a homosexual impulse in the
absence of any homosexual disposition is not today easy to accept. We can
certainly accept the possibility of a mechanical or other non-sexual
stimulus leading to a sexual act contrary to the individual's disposition.
But usually it is somewhat difficult to prove, and when proved it has
little psychological significance or importance. We may expect, therefore,
to find "pseudo-homosexuality," or spurious homosexuality, playing a
dwindling part in classification.

The simplest of all possible classifications, and that which I adopted in
the earlier editions of the present _Study_, merely seeks to distinguish
between those who, not being exclusively attracted to the opposite sex,
are exclusively attracted to the same sex, and those who are attracted to
both sexes. The first are the homosexual, whether or not the attraction
springs from genuine inversion. The second are the bisexual, or, as they
were formerly more often termed, following Krafft-Ebing, psycho-sexual
hermaphrodites.[135] There would thus seem to be a broad and simple
grouping of all sexually functioning persons into three comprehensive
divisions: the heterosexual, the bisexual, and the homosexual.

Even this elementary classification seems however of no great practical
use. The bisexual group is found to introduce uncertainty and doubt. Not
only a large proportion of persons who may fairly be considered normally
heterosexual have at some time in their lives experienced a feeling which
may be termed sexual toward individuals of their own sex, but a very large
proportion of persons who are definitely and markedly homosexual are found
to have experienced sexual attraction toward, and have had relationships
with, persons of the opposite sex. The social pressure, urging all persons
into the normal sexual channel, suffices to develop such slight germs of
heterosexuality as homosexual persons may possess, and so to render them
bisexual. In the majority of adult bisexual persons it would seem that the
homosexual tendency is stronger and more organic than the heterosexual
tendency. Bisexuality would thus in a large number of cases be comparable
to ambidexterity, which Biervliet has found to occur most usually in
people who are organically left-handed.[136] While therefore the division
into heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual is a useful superficial
division, it is scarcely a scientific classification.

In the face of these various considerations, and in view of the fact that,
while I feel justified in regarding the histories of my cases as reliable
so far as they go, I have not been always able to explore them
extensively, it has seemed best to me to attempt no classification at all.

The order in which the following histories appear is not, therefore, to be
regarded as possessing any significance.

It may be proper, at this point, to say a few words as to the
reliability of the statements furnished by homosexual persons.
This has sometimes been called in question. Many years ago we
used to be told that inverts are such lying and deceitful
degenerates that it was impossible to place reliance on anything
they said. It was also usual to say that when they wrote
autobiographical accounts of themselves they merely sought to
mold them in the fashion of those published by Krafft-Ebing. More
recently the psychoanalysts have made a more radical attack on
all histories not obtained by their own methods as being quite
unreliable, even when put forth in good faith, in part because
the subject withholds much that he either regards as too trivial
or too unpleasant to bring forward, and in part because he cannot
draw on that unconscious field within himself wherein, it is
held, the most significant facts in his own sexual history are
concealed. Thus Sadger ("Ueber den Wert der Autobiographien
Sexuell Perverser," _Fortschritte der Medizin_, nos. 26-28, 1913)
vigorously puts forward this view and asserts that the
autobiographies of inverts are worthless, although his assertions
are somewhat discounted by the fact that they accompany an
autobiography, written in the usual manner, to which he
attributes much value.

The objection to homosexual autobiographic statements dates from
a period when the homosexual were very little known, and it was
supposed that their moral character generally was fairly
represented by a small section among them which attracted more
attention than the rest by reason of discreditable conduct. But,
in reality, as we now know, there are all sorts of people, with
all varieties of moral character, to be found among inverts, just
as among normal people. Sadger (_Archiv fuer
Kriminal-Anthropologie_, 1913, p. 199) complains of the "great
insincerity of inverts in not acknowledging their inversion;"
but, as Sadger himself admits, we cannot be surprised at this so
long as inversion is counted a crime. The most normal persons,
under similar conditions, would be similarly insincere. If the
homosexual differ in any respect, under this aspect, from the
heterosexual, it is by exhibiting a more frequent tendency to be
slightly neuropathic, nervously sensitive, and femininely
emotional. These tendencies, while on the one hand they are
liable to induce a very easily detectable vanity, may also lead
to an unusual self-subordination to veracity. On the whole, it
may be said, in my own experience, that the best histories
written by the homosexual compare favorably for frankness,
intelligence, and power of self-analysis with those written by
the heterosexual.

The ancient allegation that inverts have written their own
histories on the model, or under the suggestion, of those
published in Krafft-Ebing's _Psychopathia Sexualis_ can scarcely
have much force now that the published histories are so extremely
varied and numerous that they cannot possibly produce any uniform
impression on the most sensitively receptive mind. As a matter of
fact, there is no doubt that inverts have frequently been
stimulated to set down the narrative of their own experiences
through reading those written by others. But the stimulation has,
as often as not, lain in the fact that their own experiences have
seemed different, not that they have seemed identical. The
histories that they read only serve as models in the sense that
they indicate the points on which information is desired. I have
often been able to verify this influence, which would in any case
seem to be fairly obvious.

Psycho-analysis is, in theory, an ideal method of exploring many
psychic conditions, such as hysteria and obsessions, which are
obscure and largely concealed beneath the psychic surface. In
most homosexual cases the main facts are, with the patient's
good-will and the investigator's tact, not difficult to
ascertain. Any difficulties which psychoanalysis may help to
elucidate mainly concern the early history of the case in
childhood, and, regarding these, psychoanalysis may sometimes
raise questions which it cannot definitely settle.
Psycho-analysis reveals an immense mass of small details, any of
which may or may not possess significance, and in determining
which are significant the individuality of the psychoanalyst
cannot fail to come into play. He will necessarily tend to
arrange them according to a system. If, for instance, he regards
infantile incestuous emotions or early Narcissism as an essential
feature of the mechanism of homosexuality, a conscientious
investigator will not rest until he has discovered traces of
them, as he very probably will. (See, e.g., Sadger, "Fragment der
Psychoanalyse eines Homosexuellen," _Jahrbuch fuer sexuelle
Zwischenstufen_, Bd. ix, 1908; and cf. Hirschfeld, _Die
Homosexualitaet_, p. 164). But the exact weight and significance
of these traces may still be doubtful, and, even if considerable
in one case, may be inconsiderable in another. Freud, who sets
forth one type of homosexual mechanism, admits that there may be
others. Moreover, it must be added that the psychoanalytic method
by no means excludes unconscious deception by the subject, as
Freud found, and so was compelled to admit the patient's tendency
to "fantasy," as Adler has to "fictions," as a fundamental
psychic tendency of the "unconscious."

The force of these considerations is now beginning to be
generally recognized. Thus Moll (art. "Homosexualitaet," in 4th
ed. of Eulenburg's _Realencyclopaedie der gesamten Heilkunde_,
1909, p. 611) rightly says that while the invert may occasionally
embroider his story, "the expert can usually distinguish between
the truth and the poetry, though it is unnecessary to add that
complete confidence on the patient's part is necessary," Naecke,
again (_Sexual-Probleme_, September, 1911, p. 619), after quoting
with approval the remark of one of the chief German authorities,
Dr. Numa Praetorius, that "a great number of inverts' histories
are at the least as trustworthy as the attempts of
psychoanalysts, especially when they come from persons skillful
in self-analysis," adds that "even Freudian analysis gives no
absolute guarantee for truth. A healthy skepticism is
justifiable--but not an unhealthy skepticism!" Hirschfeld, also
(_Die Homosexualitaet_, p. 164), whose knowledge of such histories
is unrivalled, remarks that while we may now and then meet with a
case of _pseudo-logia fantastica_ in connection with psychic
debility on the basis of a psychopathic constitution, "taken all
in all any generalized assertion of the falsehood of inverts is
an empty fiction, and is merely a sign that the physicians who
make it have not been able to win the trust of the men and women
who consult them." My own experience has fully convinced me of
the truth of this, statement. I am assured that many of the
inverts I have met not only possess a rare power of intellectual
self-analysis (stimulated by the constant and inevitable contrast
between their own feelings and those of the world around them),
but an unsparing sincerity in that self-analysis not so very
often attained by normal people.

The histories which follow have been obtained in various ways,
and are of varying degrees of value. Some are of persons whom I
have known very well for very long periods, and concerning whom I
can speak very positively. A few are from complete strangers
whose good faith, however, I judge from internal evidence that I
am able to accept. Two or three were written by persons
who--though educated, in one case a journalist--had never heard
of inversion, and imagined that their own homosexual feelings
were absolutely unique in the world. A fair number were written
by persons whom I do not myself know, but who are well known to
others in whose judgment I feel confidence. Perhaps the largest
number are concerned with individuals who wrote to me
spontaneously in the first place, and whom I have at intervals
seen or heard from since, in some cases during a very long
period, so that I have slowly been able to fill in their
histories, although the narratives, as finally completed, may
have the air of being written down at a single sitting. I have
not admitted any narrative which I do not feel that I am
entitled to regard as a substantially accurate statement of the
facts, although allowance must occasionally be made for the
emotional coloring of these facts, the invert sometimes
cherishing too high an opinion, and sometimes too low an opinion,
of his own personality.


HISTORY I.--Both parents healthy; father of unusually fine
_physique_. He is himself a manual worker and also of
exceptionally fine _physique_. He is, however, of nervous
temperament. He is mentally bright, though not highly educated, a
keen sportsman, and in general a good example of an all-around
healthy Englishman.

While very affectionate, his sexual desires are not strongly
developed on the physical side, and seem never to have been so.
He sometimes masturbated about the age of puberty, but never
afterward. He does not appear to have well-marked erotic dreams.
There used to be some attraction toward women, though it was
never strong. At the age of 26 he was seduced by a woman and had
connection with her once. Afterward he had reason to think she
had played him false in various ways. This induced the strongest
antipathy, not only to this woman, but to all marriageable women.
A year after this episode homosexual feeling first became clear
and defined. He is now 33, and feels the same antipathy to women;
he hates even to speak of marriage.

There has only been one really strong attraction, toward a man of
about the same age, but of different social class, and somewhat a
contrast to him, both physically and mentally. So far as the
physical act is concerned this relationship is not definitely
sexual, but it is of the most intimate possible kind, and the
absence of the physical act is probably largely due to
circumstances. At the same time there is no conscious desire for
the act for its own sake, and the existing harmony and
satisfaction are described as very complete. There is no
repulsion to the physical side, and he regards the whole
relationship as quite natural.


HISTORY II.--B.O., English, aged 35, missionary abroad. A brother
is more definitely inverted. B.O. has never had any definitely
homosexual relationships, although he has always been devoted to
boys; nor has he had any relationships with women. "As regards
women," he says, "I feel I have not the patience to try and
understand them; they are petulant and changeable," etc. He
objects to being called "abnormal," and thinks that people like
himself are "_extremely_ common."

"I have never wanted to kiss boys," he writes, "nor to handle
them in any way except to put my arm around them at their studies
and at other similar times. Of course, with really little boys,
it is different, but boys and girls under 14 seem to me much
alike, and I can love either equally well. As to any sort of
sexual connection between myself and one of my own sex, I cannot
think of it otherwise than with disgust. I can imagine great
pleasure in having connection with a woman, but their natures do
not attract me. Indeed, my liking for my own sex seems to consist
almost entirely in a preference for the masculine character, and
the feeling that as an object to _look at_ the male body is
really more beautiful than the female. When any strong
temptations to sexual passion come over me in my waking moments,
it is of women I think. On the other hand, I have to confess that
after being with some lad I love for an hour or two, I have
sometimes felt my sexual organs roused. But only once in my life
have I experienced a strong desire to sleep in the same bed with
a particular lad, and even then no idea of doing anything entered
my mind. Needless to say, I did not sleep with him.

"I never feel tempted by any girls here, although I see so many
with their bodies freely exposed, and plenty of them have really
pretty faces. Neither do I feel tempted to do anything improper
with any of the boys, although I frequently sit talking with one
who has very little on. But I find the constant sight of
well-shaped bare limbs has a curious effect on the mind and comes
before one's imagination as a picture at unlooked-for times. But
the most curious thing of all is this: There are several lads
here of whom I am very fond. Now when they are near me I think of
them with only the purest and most tender feelings, but sometimes
at night when I am half asleep, or when I am taking my midday
siesta, my imagination pictures one of these lads approaching a
girl, or actually lying with her, and the strange thing is that I
do not feel any desire myself to approach the girl, but I feel I
wish I were in _her_ place and the lad was coming to _me_. In my
calm, waking moments it disgusts and rather horrifies me to find
myself apparently so unsexed--yet such is the fact, and the
experience, with only slight changes, repeats itself over and
over again. It is not that I, as a man, wish even in imagination
to act improperly with a boy, but I feel I would like to be in
the girl's place, and the strange thing is that in all these
dreams and imaginings I can always apparently enter into the
feelings of the woman better than into those of the man.
Sometimes I fancy for a moment that perhaps reincarnation is true
and I was a woman in my last life. Sometimes I fancy that when I
was in the womb I was formed as a girl and the sexual organs
changed just at the last moment. It is a curious problem. Don't
think I worry about it. Only at long intervals do I think of
it.... The thing has its bright side. Boys and men seem to have
tender feelings toward me, such as one expects them to have for
members of the opposite sex, and I get into all the closer
contact with them in consequence."


HISTORY III.--F.R., English, aged 50, Belongs on both sides to
healthy, normal families, of more than average ability. Father
was 35 at birth, and mother 27. He is the second of four
children. There was a considerable interval between the births of
the children, which were spread over twenty-one years. All are
normal, except F.R., two of them married and with families.

Owing to the difference of age between the children, F.R. (who
was three years younger than his elder brother, and more than
four years older than his sister, the third child) had no male
companionship and was constantly alone with his mother. "Being
naturally imitative," he remarks, "I think I acquired her tastes
and interests and habits of thought. However that may be, I feel
sure that my interests and amusements were more girlish than
boyish. By way of illustration, I may mention that I have often
been told by a friend of my mother's that, on one occasion, I was
wanting a new hat, and none being found of a size to fit me, I
congratulated myself that I should therefore be obliged to have a
_bonnet!_ As regards my feminine tastes and instincts, I have
always been conscious of taking interest in questions of family
relationships, etiquette, dress (women's as much as, or more
than, men's) and other things of that kind, which, as a rule,
were treated with indifference or contempt. In the house I take
more notice than my sister does of the servants' deficiencies and
neglects, and am much more orderly in my arrangements than she
is."

There is nothing markedly feminine in the general appearance.
Pubertal development took place at an early age, long before
fourteen, with nocturnal emissions, but without erotic dreams.
The testicles are well developed, the penis perhaps rather below
the average in size, and the prepuce long and narrow. Erection
occurs with much facility, especially at night. When young he
knew nothing of masturbation, but he began the habit about ten
years ago, and has practised it occasionally ever since.

Although he likes the society of women to a certain extent, he
soon grows tired of it, and has never had any desire to marry.
His sexual dreams never have any relation to women. "I am
generally doing or saying something," he remarks, "to some man
whom I know when awake, something which I admit I might wish to
do or say if it were not quite out of the question on grounds of
propriety and self-respect."

He has, however, never had any intimate relationships with men,
and much that he has heard of such relationships fills him with
horror.

"What I feel about myself is," he writes, "that I have to a
certain extent, or in some respects, a feminine mind in a male
body; or, I might put it that I am a combination of an immoral
(in tendency, rather than in act) woman and a religious man.
From time to time I have felt strong affection for young men, but
I cannot flatter myself that my affection has been reciprocated.
At the present time there is a young fellow (23 years old) who
acts as my clerk and sits in my room. He is extremely
good-looking, and of a type which is generally considered
'aristocratic,' but so far as I (or he) know, he is quite of the
lower middle class. He has little to recommend him but a fine
face and figure, and there is nothing approaching to mental or
social equality between us. But I constantly feel the strongest
desire to treat him as a man might a young girl he warmly loved.
Various obvious considerations keep me from more than
quasi-paternal caresses, and I feel sure he would resent very
strongly anything more. This constant repression is trying beyond
measure to the nerves, and I often feel quite ill from that
cause. Having had no experiences of my own, I am always anxious
to learn anything I can of the sexual relations of other men, and
their organs, but I have no curiosity whatever concerning the
other sex. My chief pleasure and source of gratification is found
in the opportunities afforded by Turkish and other baths;
wherever, in fact, there is the nude male to be found. But I
seldom find in these places anyone who seems to have the same
tendency as myself, and certainly I have not met with more than
two cases among the attendants, who responded to my hinted desire
to see everything. Under a shampooer, particularly an unfamiliar
one, I occasionally experience an orgasm, but less often now than
when I was younger."

F.R. is very short-sighted. His favorite color is blue. He is
able to whistle. His tastes are chiefly of a literary character,
and he has never had any liking for sports. "I have been
generally considered ineffective in the use of my hands," he
writes, "and I am certainly not skillful. All I have ever been
able to do in that way is to net and do the simpler forms of
needlework; but it seems more natural to me to do, or try to do,
everything of that sort, and to play on the piano, rather than to
shoot or play games. I may add that I am fonder of babies than
many women, and am generally considered to be surprisingly
capable of holding them! Certainly I enjoy doing so. As a youth,
I used to act in charades; but I was too shy to do so unless I
was dressed as a woman and veiled; and when I took a woman's part
I _felt_ less like _acting_ than I have done in _propria
persona_. A remark made by an uncle once rather annoyed me: that
it seemed more like nature than art. But he was quite right."


HISTORY IV.--Of Lowland Scotch parentage. Both sides of house
healthy and without cerebral or nervous disease. Homosexual
desires began at puberty. He practised onanism to a limited
extent at school and up to the age of about 22. His erotic dreams
are exclusively about males. While very friendly and intimate
with women of all ages, he is instantly repelled by any display
of sexual affection on their side. This has happened in varying
degree in three or four cases. With regard to marriage, he
remarks: "As there seems no immediate danger of the race dying
out, I leave marriage to those who like it." His male ideal has
varied to some extent. It has for some years tended toward a
healthy, well-developed, athletic or out-of-door working type,
intelligent and sympathetic, but not specially intellectual.

At school his sexual relations were of the simplest type. Since
then there have been none. "This," he says, "is not due either to
absence of desire or presence of 'morals.' To put it shortly,
'there were never the time and the place and the loved one
together.' In another view, physical desire and the general
affection have not always coexisted toward the same person; and
the former without the latter is comparatively transient; while
the latter stops the gratification of the former, if it is felt
that that gratification could in any way make the object of
affection unhappy, mentally or emotionally."

He is healthy and fairly well developed; of sensitive, emotional
nature, but self-controlled; mentally he is receptive and
aggressive by turns, sometimes uncritical, sometimes analytical.
His temper is equable, and he is strongly affectionate. Very fond
of music and other arts, but not highly imaginative.

Of sexual inversion in the abstract he says he has no views, but
he thus sums up his moral attitude: "I presume that, if it is
there, it is there for use or abuse, as men please. I condemn
gratification of bodily desire at the expense of others, in
whatever form it may take. I condemn it no more in its inverted
form than in the ordinary. I believe that affection between
persons of the same sex, even when it includes the sexual passion
and its indulgences, may lead to results as splendid as human
nature can ever attain to. In short, I place it on an absolute
equality with love as ordinarily understood."


HISTORY V.--S.W., aged 64, English, musical journalist. The
communication which follows (somewhat abbreviated) was written
before S.W. had heard or read anything about sexual inversion,
and when he still believed that his own case was absolutely
unique.

"I am the son of a clergyman, and lived for the first thirteen
years of my life in the country town where I was born. Then my
father became the vicar of a country village, where I lived until
I went out into the world at the age of 18. As during the whole
of this time my father had a few pupils, I was educated with
them, and never went to school. I was born, I fancy, with sexual
passions about as strong as can well be imagined, and at the same
time was very precocious in my entry into the stage of puberty.
Semen began to form a little before my twelfth birthday; hair
soon followed, and in a year I was in that respect the equal of
an average boy of 15 or 16. I conversed freely with my companions
on the relations of the sexes, but, unlike them, had no personal
feeling toward girls. In time I became conscious that I was
different, as I then believed, and believe now, from all other
men. My sexual organs were quite perfect. But in the frame of a
man I had the sexual mind of a female. I distinctly disclaim the
faintest inclination to perform unnatural acts; the idea of
committing sodomy would be _most disgusting_.

"To come to my actual condition of mind: While totally
indifferent to the person of woman (I always enjoyed their
friendship and companionship, and many of my best friends have
been ladies), I had a burning desire to have carnal intercourse
with a male, and had the capacity for falling in love, as it is
called, to the utmost extent. In imagination, I possessed the
female organ, and felt toward man exactly as an amorous female
would. At the time when I became fully conscious of my condition,
I attached little importance to it; I had not a notion of its
terrible import, nor of the future misery it would entail. All
that I had to learn by bitter experience.

"I did once think of forcing myself to have connection with a
prostitute in order to see whether the actual sensual enjoyment
might bring a change, and so have the power to marry. But when it
came to thinking over ways and means, my repugnance to the act
became so strong that it was quite out of the question. In the
case of any male to whom I became attached, I wanted to feel
ourselves together, skin to skin, and to be privileged to take
such liberties as an amorous female would take if that were all
permitted. I sought no purely sensual gratification of any kind;
my love was far too genuine for that.

"During the rather more than half a century which has elapsed
since my twelfth birthday, I have been genuinely in love about
thirteen times. I despair attempting to give an idea of the depth
and reality of my feelings. I have alluded to my precocity. I was
in love when 12 years old, the object being a man of 24, a
well-known analytical chemist. He came to my father's house very
frequently; and my heart beat almost at the mention of his name.

"The next serious time I was about 15. It was a farmer's son,
about two years older. I don't think that I was ever alone with
him, and really only knew him as a member of his family, yet for
a time he was my chief interest in life.

"When 21 I had a 'chum,' a youth of 17, who entertained for me,
at any rate, a brotherly affection. We were under the same roof,
and early one summer morning he got out of bed and came direct to
my room to talk about some matter or other. In order to talk more
comfortably he got into bed with me and we lay there just as two
school-girls might have done. This proximity was more than I
could stand, and my heart began to beat so that it was impossible
that he should not notice it. As, of course, he could not have
the slightest notion of the reason, he said in all innocence,
'Why, how your heart beats. I can hear it quite plainly.'

"So far my details are purely innocent. Up to 18, familiarities
passed at intervals between me and the son of the village doctor,
a youth about two years older than myself, and precociously
immoral. I did not really care for him much, but he was my chief
companion. Then I became a school-assistant, and for about six
years managed to control myself, only, alas, to fall again.
Another resolution I kept for eight years, one long fight with my
nature. Again I sinned in three instances, extending over three
or four years. I now come to a very painful and eventful episode
in my unhappy life which I would gladly pass over were it
possible. It was a case, in middle life, of sin, discovery, and
great folly in addition.

"Before going into details, so far as may be necessary, I cannot
help asking you to consider calmly and dispassionately my exact
condition compared with that of my fellow-creatures as a whole.
In my struggles to resist in the past, I have at times felt as if
wrestling in the folds of a python. I again sinned, then, with a
youth and his friend. Oddly enough, discovery followed through a
man who was actuated by a feeling of revenge for a strictly right
act on my part. The lads refused to state more than the truth,
and this did not satisfy the man, and a _third_ lad was
introduced, who was prepared to say anything. This was not all;
some twelve or fifteen more boys made similar accusations! The
general belief, in consequence, was that I had committed
'nameless' crimes in all directions, _ad lib_. If you were to ask
me for an explanation of the action of all these boys beyond the
_third_, who, of course, had some special inducements, I can
offer none. They may have thought that the original trio were
regarded rather in the light of _heroes_; why should _they_ not
be heroes, too?

"I might well feel crushed under such a load of accusations, but
that does not excuse the incredible folly of my conduct. I denied
alike the modicum of truth and the mass of lying, and went off to
America. However, as time passed on and my mind got into a proper
state, I felt that the truth must be told some time or other. I
accordingly wrote from America to the proper quarter a full
confession of my sin with regard to the two youths who had told
merely the truth, at the same time pointing out the falsehood of
all the rest of the accusations.

"I remained in America six years, and actually made money, so
that I could return to England with a small capital. I was also
under a promise to my three sisters (all older than myself) that
I would return in their lifetime. My programme was to purchase a
small, light business in London, and quietly earn my living; at
the same time making my presence known to no one. I _did_ buy
such a business, got swindled in the most clever way, and lost
every farthing I possessed in the world! I had to make my plight
known to old friends who all either gave or lent me money. Still
my position was a very precarious one. I tried an insurance
agency, one of the last resources of the educated destitute, but
soon found out that I was unfitted for work in which _impudence_
is a prime factor. Then an extraordinary stroke of good fortune
took place; almost simultaneously I began to get a few music
pupils, and literary work in connection with a good musical
journal.

"Making my presence known to old friends involved the same
information to those who were _not_ friends. My identity as a
journalist became known, and as time passed by it seemed to me as
if half the world had heard of my alleged iniquities. People who
have never set eyes on me seem to regard me in the light of a
monster of iniquity who ought not to be suffered to exist. All
these outsiders believe that I have committed 'nameless' offenses
times innumerable and lift up their hands in speechless horror at
the audacity of a man who, so situated, dares to appear openly in
public, under his own name, and look people in the face. They
have not even the brains to see that this very fearlessness
proves the fictitious character of their beliefs. Next, they
believe that if only they could get my dismissal from my
journalistic post I should be brought to starvation point. This
up to a year ago was true. Then an old relative died and left me
some property which I sold to invest in an annuity, and thus have
just enough to live on quietly, apart from what I may earn. Under
such strange conditions it might be asked whether life was not
unendurable. Frankly speaking, I cannot say that I find it so. I
have in London a few bachelor friends who go with me to theaters,
etc. In the suburbs I have about half a dozen family friends.
Here I meet with pleasant society and a hearty welcome. I am
passionately fond of music, have an excellent piano, and can hear
the best concerts in Europe. I go to all good plays. I am a good
chess player. Lastly, I am an omnivorous reader. You will allow
that my resources for passing the time are not limited.

"Of course, I am sorry that I sinned, and wish that I had not
done so. But I disclaim any feeling of shame."

S.W. was the youngest of four children and the only boy. His
father was 40 at his birth, his mother 33. The father was an
intellectual man of weak character, the mother a woman of violent
and eccentric temper, with, he believes, strong sexual passions.
S.W. knows of nothing in the family to account for his own
abnormal condition.

He is short (five feet five inches), but well built, with strong
chest and a powerful voice. His arms are weak and flabby
(feminine, he thinks), but the legs muscular. As a boy of 14 he
could walk forty miles with ease, and he played football till
near the age of 45. He is considered manly in character and
tastes, but is easily moved to tears under strong excitement.
There is no information as to the type of man to whom he is
attracted. I may observe, however, that the analytical chemist
who first evoked S.W.'s admiration was well known to me some
thirty years later, as he was my own teacher in chemistry. At
that time he was an elderly man of attractive appearance and
character, sympathetic and winning in manner to an almost
feminine extent.

S.W. has never felt the slightest sexual attraction toward the
opposite sex. The first indications of inverted feeling were at
the age of 6 or 7. Watching his father's pupils, boys of 13 or
14, from the windows, he speculated on what their organs of
generation were like. "In connection with a girl," he writes, "I
should no more have thought of such a thing than in the case of a
block of marble." About this time, indeed, he at times slept with
a sister of 10, who induced him to go through the form of sexual
connection, saying that it felt "so funny;" but he merely did
this to please her, and without the slightest interest or feeling
on his own part. This attitude became more marked with increased
knowledge, until he fell ardently in love at the age of 12.
Throughout life he has practised masturbation to a certain
extent, and is prepared to defend the practice in his own case.
His erotic dreams have been of only the vaguest and most shadowy
character. He is able to whistle. He takes a warm interest in
politics and in philanthropic work. But his chief love is for
music and he has published many musical compositions. On the
whole, and notwithstanding the persecution he has endured, he
does not regard his life as unhappy. At the same time he is
keenly conscious of the atmosphere of "Pariahdom" which surrounds
inverts, and in his own case this has never been alleviated by
any sense of companionship in misery. The facility with which
some inverts are said to recognize others of their own kind is
quite incomprehensible to him; he has never to his knowledge met
one.


HISTORY VI.--E.S., physician, aged 50.

"I have some reason," he writes, "for believing that some of my
relatives (on the paternal side) were not normal in their sexual
life. But I am sure that no such suspicion was entertained by
their friends or associates; they were very reticent people. A
great proportion of my near relatives have remained unmarried or
deferred marriage until late in life. None of them have been good
business men; all seem to have been more deeply concerned in
other things than in making--or in keeping--money. They have
mostly taken little or no share in public life, and not cared
much for society. Yet they have been folk of more than average
ability, with intellectual and aesthetic interests. We are prone
to enthusiasms, but lack perseverance. We are discursive and
superficial, perhaps, but none would call us stupid. We are
perhaps abnormally self-centered and self-conscious--never cruel
or vicious. Our powers of self-control are considerable; we are
conventional people only because we are lazy and intensely
dislike any open self-assertion. Yet we are nervous rather than
phlegmatic. All that is on the father's side. My maternal
ancestors have been concerned with farming and the sea and have
also had a similar lack of business capacity, but with less
mental adaptiveness and alertness, with more steadiness of
purpose, however, always doers rather than dreamers. Among them I
remember one cousin who was probably abnormal, although he died
when I was too young to notice much. Again, they were all rather
reserved people, but more genial with strangers, more socially
inclined, and with less self-control.

"I was an only child and a spoilt one. I was always quick at
school, fond of learning, and finding my lessons no trouble.
Serious study I disliked. But for school purposes I did not find
it necessary, and had no difficulty in carrying all before me. I
was never fond of games, although very fond of being out of doors
and of walking. Few of my relatives have been at all keen on
sport. I made no close friendships at school and was never very
popular with my schoolfellows, who, however, tolerated my odd
ways better than might have been expected. I was easily brought
to appreciate good literature, but I never had much power of
expression or of strenuous thought. I was extremely susceptible
and impressible, moved by beauty of any kind, but never at all
ambitious or in any way creative. I was easily stimulated to
work, and then loved to work; but, unless the stimulus were
maintained the natural indolence of my disposition asserted
itself, and I wasted my powers in dreams and trifles. My memory
was very quick and retentive, in the main, but curiously
capricious. I always lacked initiative and decision. At college
my successes were continued. I gained medals and prizes, passed
my examinations easily, and graduated 'with first-class honors.'
In my professional lifework I have been successful rather beyond
the average. I love it with all my heart.

"I cannot speak with any confidence about the first stirrings of
my sexual instincts, but I think I can assert that they have at
no time led me to any desire for the opposite sex. It is true
that my earliest recollection of the kind is concerned with
intimacies with a girl play-fellow, but as we had at the time
reached only the mature age of 7 (at the most) I fancy that our
mutual exhibitions--for there was nothing more--simply satisfied
our natural curiosity. Certainly these memories are, in my mind,
in no way set apart from the recollections of other kinds of
play. Next to that I remember the usual schoolboy talk about
things hidden and forbidden, but up till I was 12 or so this was
simply dirty talk, concerned more with renal and intestinal
functions than with any sexual feelings or understanding. One boy
was known to us all (and of my not inconsiderable circle of early
friends, all grew up to be normal people, who married and had
children in due course) for the unusual size of his parts and for
the freedom with which he invited and satisfied the curiosity of
his friends. He must have been precocious, for he could not have
been more than 12, and I remember to have heard that he had a
thick growth of pubic hair. Even then, although I know that my
curiosity--to put it at that only--was active, I never allowed
myself to have any dealings with him; and I think I should have
discouraged them had they been suggested to me. That is the odd
thing about my life: the things I longed intensely to do I would
not let myself do, not from any religious or moral scruple, but
from some inexplicable fastidiousness or scrupulosity which is
yet as active as ever, although I am sure that it would not be
able to hold its own could these favorable conditions be
repeated, but would be overcome by the imperious and fully grown
desires which, by long repression, or by unsatisfactory
diversion, have grown to be so strong. Indeed, given the