ruled at that long-forgotten time, King Ozroar, was not a very happy
monarch. He ruled the beautiful land, but he had no magic with which to
insure the happiness of the people. Sickening fogs would envelop the
land from time to time, and the area was never very prosperous. Still,
it was too beautiful to go overlooked by the fairies. These magical
beings are able to see things as they should be, not only as they are.
One fairy who was especially interested in the land of Oz was a leader
of fairies named Lurline.

Lurline was no ordinary fairy ruler, though. She had especial insight
into the things that made beauty what it is. It was her keen insight
that once brought her to Mount Olympus. This legendary mountain has long
been said to be the home of many ancient Gods. According to the Ozian
storytellers, who still today will sit by your campfire and tell you a
tale in exchange for a cup of tea or a morsel of food, these Immortals
recognized her abilities at once, and she was admitted into their
society of Godhood. As a Goddess, Lurline was able to gain access to
many things.

With the help of her fairy band, as well as the input of her sister
fairy, Polychrome, Lurline was able to give the Land of Oz the magical
enchantment that made it what it is today. But she did not do the deed
without a few pitfalls.

Among the things that Lurline required to fulfill the spell's needs were
Apollo's own sky chariot, the flying horses to pull it through the air,
Kole's essence of crystal, and Lillith's brazier of endless flame. At
Polychrome's suggestion, she also obtained Iris' jug of rainbow.

Unfortunately, Lurline was not always scrupulous. In this event, she
elected to take the various magical requirements without the permission
of the various deities. She stole into their chambers at night as they
lay sleeping and took the elements she wished. She then went together
with her fairy band and performed the enchantment over Oz.

She was banished from Mount Olympus as a result of her rash action. But,
supposing the legend is all true, the marvelous Land of Oz remains as a
glowing tribute to the powers of the Fairy Queen Lurline. And to insure
its longevity, Lurline arranged for a fairy ruler to watch over the
country she had created. Of course, the ruler would have to be a native
Ozite. She would be a beautiful princess.

Princess Ozma was born several generations later unto a descendant of
Ozroar and his wife Ozia, herself a descendant of fairies and daughter
of Oziana. Young Ozma was prepared to take on the leadership of Oz upon
reaching adulthood.

But Lurline's plan was balked by the arrival of Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig
Isaac Norman Henckle Emmanuel Ambroise Diggs. This was a mortal man from
outside of the enchanted land who landed there in a balloon. It had been
he who had erected the Emerald City, and he who had sold the infant Ozma
into slavery at the hands of a heartless old Witch named Mombi. To hide
the infant queen, Mombi had transformed her into a boy. She believed
that no one would ever think to look to a little boy to find the fairy
princess, so Ozma was aptly hidden away for a very long time.

But things in Oz do have a way of working out for the best. After Diggs
left the country, Ozma was found and restored to her proper being. She
had aged very little, being that Oz folk age only when they choose to,
and little Ozma had just been given her rightful place on the royal
throne. Most of this history, of course, was unknown to Elephant and
his companions. They saw only the fact that she was a child. They did
not know of her unique experiences at all. If they had, they'd have
surely recognized that she was more aware of human needs and the
differences there connected. But even to their eyes, it was clear that
this child was very special. They had every hope that she would be able
to do as they needed done to rid their land of the terrifying Forest
Monster.

[Illustration: Tiger caught in a Spiderweb.]




CHAPTER 6

THE GIANT SPIDER


Tiger growled as he watched his captor wrap him in the strong webbing.
He was a fairly small tiger, but he was accustomed to being larger than
any spider he had ever heard of. This spider, he felt certain, was some
sort of a freak of nature. Perhaps a direct result of the humans'
constant littering, or maybe a military experiment gone haywire.

"Ahh, my little pussycat," laughed the creature. "I have you now. There
is no need for further struggle."

"Like I told you before," grumbled Tiger, "I am not a lion. I am a
striped tiger. Can't you see that?"

"I can admit that you do not look like what I had in mind," replied the
spider. "However, you are feline in nature. That is all I care about
just now."

"But it wasn't me who beheaded you. I am innocent!"

"Perhaps," the spider seemed unconcerned. "Perhaps what you say is true,
and then again, perhaps you're Lion to me. In any event, you are at the
very least a distant cousin to that animal that lopped my head off. When
he hears that you are in my clutches, he'll be here."

"But this is a small, rarely traversed forest," said the tiger. "It
isn't often that news from the Lunechien Forest gets out to the rest of
the country."

"Then you shall stay here as my guest," grinned the spider. "After all,
the little insect has been satisfying me less lately. I had been using
her sweet charity to keep myself giant-sized." He stalked over to a wall
on the far side of the cave. Indicating two yellowing papers with
crudely drawn human faces on them, he turned back toward his bound
prisoner. "These are pictures I drew of the Great Masters. They created
me, and gave me the powers I possess. When they asked me to devour their
bald-headed little enemy, I was only too happy to comply. He had too
much magic in him, however. I was sent away from my beloved Creators."
Tiger thought that the monster was about to cry, but he went on. "I made
the best of it, though. I became the leader of a lot of wild animals in
an untamed wood. Oh, they never actually called me that. But they feared
me. You'd better believe it! They were scared spitless by me! Until one
day, when that ... that ... that LION came along and used my head as if
it were a baseball! But I'll get even now, little friend. Believe you
me! I will find that lion, and I will chomp his head off! You just wait
and see if I don't!" He turned to the drawing of the Witch of the East.
"I will avenge myself on this lion for us both," he said, crossing
himself.

"But, really," begged Tiger. "I have no argument with you. Please let me
free. I will help you bag your lion-prey."

"Not a bit of that!" snarled the spider. "I have better plans for you."

"Better plans?"

"Most definitely. As I was saying, the bug's no longer sufficient for my
needs. I am told that you have a powerful and courageous heart. Bold and
fearless, is it not?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand your ..."

"If I use your heartfelt emotions, which seem to be, er ... well,
tiger-sized by definition ... If I can do that, I can remain giant-sized
for time and all eternity. I can be all-powerful! I will be the bravest
arachnid on the face of the earth! And next, my little chickadee, I plan
to capture some little beasts that are called Hootsey and ... Lisa, is
it? Owls, I think. They are known for their wisdom and kindness to their
fellow Ozites. I care nothing for their kindness, of course. My power
comes from the negative uses of the senses. But I plan to make use of
their immense knowledge. Oh, yes! And then, my dear little Tiger, THEN!
I shall reach out to my definitive prize in all the Lunechien Forest.
That big wrinkly fellow I saw not too long ago. He had a nose like a
garden hose, but my little bug has unwittingly told me that he is the
one to whom the forest beasts turn when they have problems. He likes to
solve problems, and has a phenomenal knack for it. He is wise beyond his
years, and his emotions encompass all the land! He is also one of the
strongest and most bold beasts in all the Lunechien territory--even
putting the tigers like you to shame! When I can capture this Elephant,
I will be all-powerful! I will be almighty! I will be superhuman! Then,
I shall be able to take on the beast who has come to be known as the
Cowardly Lion. A most unfitting moniker, wouldn't you say, for a fellow
who swiped off my head while I was asleep one day?"

"You'll never get away with this!" roared Tiger. "Elephant is too big
and strong to be beaten by any spider--even one so large as you!"

"We'll see about that shortly, Shorty," replied the spider. "Now, won't
we?"




CHAPTER 7

THE FOREST MONSTER OF OZ


Meanwhile, word of the monster's plans for Tiger had reached Elephant
and Tweaty and Nibbles via Hootsey and Lisa. The trio had been showing
Ozma the cast of the giant footprint when the owls flew in with the
news. Ozma was astounded that such a beast could live in her domain
without her being aware of it. And indeed, the beast had kept a fairly
low profile until recently. But it was quite obvious that a power
struggle was now going on. The beast was gradually finding out that he
could grow larger and stronger at the expense of others and would no
doubt not be satisfied until he was so large and powerful that every
living creature would be under his domain. Why, even Ozma herself was in
danger. The owls quickly informed her that the beast's first goal was to
capture Elephant in order to gain the super strength that would enable
him to attack the Cowardly Lion. However, she knew he had to absorb
Tiger's power and courage first before he would dream of attacking
Elephant. It was quite obvious he was going to have to think fast before
Tiger became a mere shell of his old self.

Hootsey and Lisa were naturally quite concerned for their own welfare.
They did not want their wisdom sucked out of them by a giant spider with
vampire-like tendencies. One has to live a long time and learn by trial
and error before one can truly be considered wise. Of course, some
people never learn. They make the same mistakes over and over. However,
that is neither here nor there. The point is that Hootsey and Lisa were
in as much danger as anyone and were very anxious to help in any way
they could.

"If I might make a suggestion?" said Hootsey. "I recently came upon some
unusual creatures that could very well be a match for the monster."

Of course, everyone was all ears, and fell silent as Hootsey began to
talk.

"These creatures are very unusual in that they are technically made of
glass and so would appear to be very fragile. But when they open their
mouths they are a most ferocious sight to behold. They are of a bulbous
shape with very long legs that can move at the speed of light--"

At this point Nibbles intercepted Hootsey's graphic description.

"These animals sound most interesting, but they don't sound particularly
ferocious--"

"Oh, wait!" responded Hootsey. "I haven't told you the best part. Their
mouths are filled with razor-sharp teeth and they can rip any animal to
shreds in two seconds. When a pack of them attack, the unfortunate
victim never even knows what hit him. It's over that fast."

[Illustration: Owl describing Saber-tooth Light-Bulbs]

"And what might the name of these creatures be?" responded Elephant.

"Well," answered Hootsey. "Two important factors contribute to their
name. One is their ability to light their bodies up at night brighter
than a hundred glow worms. The second is when they open their mouths and
expose those teeth you would think you were looking at a Saber-Toothed
tiger. Anyone want to guess their name?"

"_Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs!_" everyone responded in unison.

They all began to feel a little better to know that perhaps the dreadful
spider-creature may not be so formidable after all. It was difficult to
imagine how he could possibly stand up to a ferocious pack of
Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs. Of course, the next thing that must be done
would be to negotiate with the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs and see if they
would be willing to take on the monster. The little group was so
engrossed in mulling this over that they did not notice a new visitor in
their midst. It was Tweaty who first noticed him and nudged Nibbles in
the ribs. Nibbles looked up to observe the strangest-looking little chap
that he had ever set eyes on. He was a sort of miniature Fred
Flintstone--short and pudgy. But he had a nose to beat all noses! It
wasn't that it was long or funny shaped or anything. It was just big
(and I really mean BIG!). Anyway, when Tweaty poked Nibbles in the ribs,
it was a pretty hard poke. And Nibbles let out quite a yell. Everyone
turned to look, and saw the stranger.

"Excuse me," said the stranger. "I didn't mean to intrude. But I saw
everyone here having a meeting and I didn't want to interrupt. However,
since I now have your undivided attention, I feel duty-bound to convey
the reason for my being here in the hopes that you will not consider it
an intrusion on your privacy."

"Well, he is certainly polite," commented Hootsey. "It is my considered
opinion that we should hear what he has to say."

"By all means," everyone said, nodding in unison.

"Well, my mission is really with Queen Ozma. You see, my people have
encountered some border skirmishes with our neighbors to the north and
we were hoping that Queen Ozma could use her good offices and apply her
diplomatic powers of persuasion to encourage them to retreat back into
their own territory. You see, they are very aggressive in nature;
whereas we are a very passive people."

"Might I ask if they have made any formal declaration of hostilities?"
asked the Queen in her best adult voice.

"Well, no. Not exactly," responded the little chap. "Perhaps the best
way of clarifying the situation would be for me to read this copy of a
recent speech our President gave to our parliamentary congress." With
that, he pulled out a rolled-up manuscript from his coat pocket with a
flourish and began to read;

"'Ladies and Gentlemen: I have called this emergency session of the Five
Hundredth and Eighteenth Parliamentary Congress to inform you of some
very disturbing developments along our northern border. As president of
the Sniffer Nation, I need not remind you of the delicate nature of our
highly sensitive olfactory organs--our noses. And would you believe that
our so-called friendly northern neighbors--the Stinkfoots--have recently
seen fit to ignore all previous treaties and sense of common decency!
They have caused great distress among our border residents by not only
building new residential dwellings right smack up against the border,
but have blatantly crossed the border in ever increasing numbers and
brazenly thumbed their ridiculously small noses at Sniffer citizens who
were unfortunate enough to cross their paths. They have also been
observed taking soil samples from our rich bottom land. The reasons for
this are now known to us. You will be shocked to the core when I reveal
this to you in a moment. In the meantime many of our border residents
have become so overwhelmed and nauseated by the smell of the Stinkfoots
that they have moved lock stock and barrel to the city. I immediately
dashed off a letter of protest to the Stinkfoot President, demanding an
immediate withdrawal to the previously negotiated line of demarcation
two miles north of the border.'

"I do not wish to alarm our citizens to the point of panic, but I shall
now read to you their President's reply:

"'To President Humongous Schnozzle; distinguished Members of the Five
Hundredth and Eighteenth Parliamentary Congress of the Sniffer Nation;
and to all of the humble citizens of your fair land.

"'First, let me apologize for not entering into new negotiations regarding
our present expansion. But due to a severe blight on our stinkweed crop,
which as you know is our staple diet, our people are becoming severely
malnourished. I'm sure that you are all well aware that we are greatly
dependent on the stinkweed plant for many purposes, the least of which
is the manufacture of stinkweed pills which we all partake of
religiously in order to maintain that rich aroma that permeates our
bodies, but which mainly radiates from the area of our feet. As you
know, our olfactory senses are virtually nonexistent, but we are aware
of a slight essence of this aroma which we find most pleasing.
Unfortunately for others who might stray across our borders, the smell
overpowers them in seconds, rendering any potential invader helpless.
Now, as a result of the factors I have just presented to you, we find
your bottom land by our northern borders to be extremely rich in
nutrients that the stinkweed plant needs to flourish, and preliminary
experimental results indicate that stinkweed plants grown in this
environment are completely immune to the blight that is wiping out our
crop. Therefore, we have no option but to take as much of your land as
will insure the very survival of the proud nation that we are. That is
why we did not inform you formally or informally. The matter is simply
not negotiable.

"'Sincerely

"'Stinky McFoot President (Past, Present and Future) of Stinkfootland

"'P.S.--It is not our fault that the Sniffer people have such big noses
that their sense of smell is ultra sensitive to our presence.'"

The little group had fallen silent. "You know," said Elephant to Ozma.
"We are greatly sympathetic to their predicament. However, the situation
with the Stinkfoots and the Sniffers is diverting us from our real
problem--which is that huge, furry, ugly, filthy putrid monstrosity who
calls himself a spider."

"That's very true," said Ozma. "But remember, we have to negotiate with
the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs before we can do anything. In the
meantime, the President of the Sniffer Nation has asked our help and we
simply cannot refuse. He and his people are in a real bind."

"I'll be in a real bind if that monster attacks me," snapped Elephant.
"I'll be bound up in his giant web and devoured to death."

"Now don't you worry," Ozma replied, reaching up to pat Elephant's
trunk. "We won't let anything happen to you."

Her answer must have satisfied Elephant, because he wrapped his trunk
around her waist and hoisted her up to his back. Then he walked down to
the stream and took a long drink. As they returned to join the group,
Hootsey was clearing his throat and proceeded to speak with pure wisdom
dripping from every word. "I have been thinking..."

Before he could continue, Lisa interrupted him. "I can see that you've
been thinking because smoke is coming out of your ears." Of course she
had a twinkle in her eyes when she said this, but Hootsey did not see
the humor of it.

"Well that's very funny, Ha! Ha!" he said dryly. "I'm dying of laughter,
Ho! Ho! Ho!" After he finished glaring at Lisa, he continued ... "So,
anyway, as I was saying," again glaring at Lisa, "_before I was so
rudely interrupted!_ There is great diversity in Oz. I mean, there are
so many different kinds of people, yet for the most part we all get
along fairly well. Oh, we have our differences of opinion. No question
about it. But we seem to resolve them without too much upheaval. Well,
most of the time. Anyway, the point is--"

At that, Tweaty interrupted. "I can see immediately that you have never
been to Chilepepperland."

"And where, pray tell, is Chilepepperland?" enquired Hootsey with a hint
of cynicism. "And why have I never heard of it?"

"Perhaps you've never heard of it because you're too busy trying to
think of wise things to say," interrupted Nibbles. "After all, you have
a reputation to uphold."

Hootsey could not be sure if Nibbles was being a "smart alec" or was
just paying him a complement.

"Chilepepperland is beyond the great desert," answered Tweaty, "in a
very remote region which is surrounded by impenetrable terrain composed
of jagged rocks. There is only one narrow passageway which twists and
turns every which way through the rocks. The sides of the passageway are
quite sheer. If you were looking down from above, it would just seem
like a chasm because you cannot see the path at the bottom. Besides, the
road disappears in places where it goes under the rocks. The entrance is
completely hidden by prickly pear bushes which are plentiful in the
region. That is why no one has ever heard of Chilepepperland. Because it
is basically cut off from civilization."

"How did you discover it?" Elephant asked with genuine curiosity.

"Well," continued Tweaty, "I happened to be flying over the area one day
and spotted a group of green chilepeppers having a picnic. They invited
me to lunch and told me all about their turbulent history. It seems that
Chilepepperland was first occupied by several tribes of red chilepeppers
who were, for the most part, peace-loving. Oh, they had occasional small
skirmishes among themselves. But they lived in relative harmony for many
many years; living off the land which they treated with great reverence
because it provided all their food. They also had great respect for the
animal kingdom. They were never wasteful; giving constant thanks to the
great spirit who, they believed, watched over them and provided for them
abundantly. They believed in sharing their bounty with one another, and
this they did frequently with great ceremony. Then one fateful day, the
first group of yellow chilepeppers arrived from a foreign shore. At
first there was a mutual understanding between the newcomers and the
indigenous people. The red chilepeppers were very helpful in assisting
the newcomers to adapt to their new surroundings. In return, they were
given trinkets that sparkled, such as colored glass beads, hand mirrors
and such, the like of which they'd never set eyes on before. The red
chilepeppers were an innocent people, really quite primitive compared to
the sophisticated so-called civilized newcomers who, incidentally, were
very quick to take advantage of the childlike trust the red chilepeppers
displayed in their early contacts. They moved quickly to take full
advantage of these simple trustful souls. And as more and more yellow
chilepeppers arrived, they moved across the country taking whatever land
they needed without any regard for the previous occupants. This lead to
much fighting and eventual total conquest of the red chilepeppers who
were forced to give up their beautiful lands and moved to less desirable
areas. This broke their spirit, for they were once a very proud
people--roaming at will the vast prairies and forests. And to this day
they remain second-class citizens, really. Never able to assimilate into
the world of the yellow chilepeppers, nor ever able to return to the
total freedom they once knew."

"That has to be the saddest story I've ever heard," said Elephant.
"Those yellow chilepeppers are just rotten dogs! How could they treat
their fellow chilepeppers that way just because they were red instead of
yellow?"

"I assume that they were uncomfortable with people who they considered
'different,'" answered Ozma. "Also, they wanted the best land for
themselves."

"Anyway, that's not all," continued Tweaty. "After they took those lush
lands away from the rightful owners, they desecrated much of it over the
years, seeing it only as something to take from and to pour harsh
chemicals into for various reasons of their own. The red chilepeppers
had always blessed the land, given it thanks for its bounty and
replenished it when they took from it. Yet the yellow chilepeppers
considered them primitive and savage. And that's still not all! The
green chilepeppers went on to tell me about the treatment that _they_
received at the hands of the yellow chilepeppers. It seems that they
also lived in a land of their own far away across the Nonestic Ocean.
One day a group of yellow chilepeppers, who were visiting the area in
their ship, came ashore and captured some of them and took them back to
Chilepepperland and sold them to plantation owners in the southern part
of Chilepepperland ..."

"Oh, come on!" said Nibbles, who had been very silent all this time.
"You can't sell people."

"In those days you could," Tweaty responded. "At least, according to the
green chilepeppers I talked to. They not only sold the people they
captured as slaves, but they went back again and again to capture more
green chilepeppers and sold them, too. And by the way, a lot of the
green chilepeppers died in the terrible voyage en route."

"But how could the leaders of the yellow chilepeppers allow this to
happen?" asked Ozma. "I would never allow even an unkind remark to pass
between them if I were their leader. And I would have made the yellow
chilepeppers take the green chilepeppers back to their own people
immediately."

"Well, as a matter of fact," continued Tweaty, "the yellow chilepeppers'
leader lived in the north, and he thought very poorly of this
arrangement. A lot of other people agreed with him, and he abolished
slavery forever from the land. But it caused the yellow chilepeppers to
fight among themselves and, to this day, some yellow chilepeppers still
do not consider the green chilepeppers to be equal in status to
themselves--and can be quite discriminating in their treatment of them.
That is, when they can get away with it. They even confine them
economically and socially to areas that are less desirable to live.
Quite naturally, this causes great resentment among many of the green
chilepeppers and sometimes their anger is unleashed in unfortunate ways.
This in turn causes an even greater chasm between the two groups."

"How terrible!" Elephant said. "Chilepepperland sounds like a horrible
place to live! I hope I never even have to visit there."

"It sounds to me," said Ozma, "that if every single chilepepper who
lives in Chilepepperland really wanted to, they could live in Peace and
Love and Harmony alongside each other forever and ever. And then it
would be a perfectly wonderful place to live."

"The problem as I see it," said Hootsey, looking as wise as he could,
"is that for every chilepepper of whatever color whose heart is filled
with love and kindness for his fellows, there are probably several who
cannot generate those feelings within themselves. So I predict that the
unfortunate state of affairs in that dark land will continue for quite
some time to come. It's a very negative prognosis, I know. But the
accumulated wisdom I have acquired over many years tells me that this is
so."

"I know one thing," said Lisa. "The people who live in the land where
Dorothy comes from are much too intelligent to allow such foolishness to
exist there."

The other members of the little group turned to each other knowingly,
and slowly shook their heads. For they knew that the unfortunate fact of
the matter was that the land where Dorothy came from had had a similar
history. In fact, even as I write these words, there are people in the
mortal lands who have lost their homes and all of their worldly
possessions, and many, their lives, simply because they had the
misfortune to be born different in some way than their neighbors.

Everyone became very quiet as he assimilated all that had been said.
Ozma spoke first. "I would like to read, if I may, a poem from a little
book given to me by a dear friend. I was reminded of this poem when
Tweaty spoke of the difficulties the green chilepepper people
encountered. The poem was written by a mortal human named William Blake.
It is called _The Little Black Boy_."

_My mother bore me in the southern wild
And I am black, but O my soul is white
White as an angel is the English child
But I am black, as if bereaved of light.

My mother taught me underneath a tree,
And, sitting down before the heat of the day,
She took me on her lap and kissed me,
And, pointing to the East, began to say:

"Look on the rising sun: there God does live,
And gives His light, and gives His heat away,
And flowers and trees and beasts and men receive
Comfort in the morning, joy in the noonday.

"And we are put on Earth a little space
That we may learn to bear the beams of love;
And these black bodies and this sunburnt face
Are but a cloud, and like a shady grove.

"For, when our souls have learned the heat to bear,
The cloud will vanish, we shall hear His voice,
Saying, 'Come out from the grove, my love and care,
And round my golden tent like lambs rejoice.'"

Thus did my mother say, and kissed me,
And thus I say to the little English boy.
When I from black, and he from white cloud free.
And round the tent of God like lambs we joy,

I'll shade him from the heat 'til he can bear
To lean in joy upon our Father's knee;
And then I'll stand and stroke his silver hair,
And be like him, and he will then love me._

By the time Ozma had read the last line, tears were streaming down
everyone's face.

"That is the most beautiful poem I have ever heard..." Elephant sobbed,
as Tweaty dabbed his eyes with a tailfeather, "...and so very sad that
it will take so long for True Love to exist between all peoples. Only
when they realize that in the ultimate sense there is no difference
between them."

The story of the chilepeppers and the poem by William Blake left
everyone in a very somber mood. But Time was not standing still, and you
can be sure that that mean-spirited old spider-monster was not letting
any grass grow under his feet. Even now he was no doubt growing stronger
by the minute by sucking strength and courage out of any victim who had
been unfortunate enough to be caught in his deadly web.

"We must be on our way," Ozma said, shivering slightly. "Elephant, why
don't we all ride on you, and we'll talk as we go along and plan our
strategy."

"Good idea," Elephant answered, picking Ozma up again.

Meanwhile, Tweaty and the owls flew up and perched on Elephant's head.
Elephant then lowered his trunk to allow Nibbles to jump aboard and be
lifted up behind Ozma.

"Okay, every one!" shouted Elephant as he raised his trunk high in the
air and let out a great trump which just about blew everyone off his
back. He then proceeded to waddle down the road making trumping sounds
that sounded suspiciously like a trombone playing the bass part to _When
the Saints go marching in_. In fact, pretty soon everyone was singing
along--

_Oh when the saints
Go mar chin' in.
When the saints go marchin' in.
Lord, I want to be in that number,
When the saints go marchin' in..._

[Illustration: Sniffer and Stinkfoot arguing.]




CHAPTER 8

THE JOURNEY TOWARD THE SNIFFER NATION


"As I see it," said Lisa as they traveled along, "there is at least one
major difference between the problems in the Sniffer Nation and the
problems of Chilepepperland. The Chilepeppers, so far as I can
determine, are different from one another only in their viewpoints. Some
may have had a better education than others, but all were born
essentially equal. On the other hand, even if they were born equal, the
Sniffer citizens have a real physical reason for their disagreement with
the Stinkfoots. If you will forgive my saying so, I cannot believe that
either group is necessarily better or more important than the other.
It's just that they are physically unable to co-exist."

"As much as it pains me to say it," replied the Sniffer citizen, "I have
to agree. After all, the Stinkfoot people used to get along fine with my
people, so long as we kept our distance from one another. Now that the
Stinkfoots are infringing on our territory, we are forced to take action
against them despite our former friendship. But there simply is no
alternative. They are taking away our homeland, and pushing us away.
There is no other option but to push them back."

"It is a real problem when one specie overcrowds its territory," added
Hootsey. "It must pave away all other life forms to further supply its
own needs."

"But no one has the right to crowd out what Nature has already
established," said Elephant. "Just imagine the chaos it would create if,
say, the human race were to become so plentiful that it was leveling
rain forests and wiping out all other forms of life to make room for
itself."

"That would be terrible," agreed Hootsey. "And it is exactly what the
Stinkfoots are doing. Once they have pushed the Sniffers into either
isolation or extinction, they may continue to outgrow the territory they
occupy and move into other regions where they will do even more damage."

"They have to be stopped at any cost," said the Sniffer man.

"No," said Ozma. "Not at any cost. Even though they are doing bad, they
are still counted among my subjects. They are not enemies to Oz, and I
will not have them entirely devastated. Our plan has to be fair to both
sides, not just one. As we have said, neither side is better than the
other. You yourself agreed. We can't allow either race to be lost in
favor of the other. That would upset the balance of Nature."

"But how else can we stop them from expanding to wherever they like?"
asked the Sniffer citizen.

"There has to be a fair way to settle the dispute," replied the little
Queen. "And it is up to us to find it."

"What if we forbade them from eating any more stinkweeds?" suggested
Nibbles. "That way, they wouldn't smell so bad, and the Sniffers would
have no further trouble with them. Also, they would no longer need to be
living in an area that would help the stinkweeds grow."

"You heard the letter," answered Lisa. "They won't agree to that. They
like the smell that they get from the weeds, and they believe it will
prevent anyone attacking them. They would never go along with that
plan."

"We're almost there" sighed the Sniffer citizen. "But we are no closer
to an agreement. What can we do?"

"I intend to speak with your President," replied Ozma. "And I will also
meet with the Stinkfoot President."

Ozma and the Lunechien party of five was greeted at the border of the
Sniffer Nation by President Humongous Schnozzle himself. Indeed, he must
have had the largest nose that Ozma had ever seen. It was longer than
that of Elephant! "Probisquous!" he said joyfully. "You're back! And you
have brought an army with you!"

"Hello, Mr. President," said the Sniffer messenger. "This is Queen Ozma